Where did this all come from?

Quotable Mondays

2012-01-30T07:49:00.000-06:00

The true measure of a man

is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.

- Samuel Johnson

Wordless Wednesday - Boys + Snow = Fun

2012-01-25T06:57:00.004-06:00

Linking up with 5 Minutes For Mom & Wordless Wednesday.

Tackle It Tuesday - My Love For Glass Jars

2012-01-24T15:00:00.000-06:00

It all started with one tiny request from my second son.

"Mom can you put the cereal on the bottom shelf so I don't have to wait for you to get me breakfast?"

GREAT IDEA!!!

But do you think I could just swap the cereal on the top shelf for the crackers and snacks on the bottom shelf? Of course not.

This began an hour long cleaning of the pantry, a job I DID not have listed on my ever growing To Do List.

I did accomplish another task I have had on my list for some time now. I have a huge LOVE for jars and really wanted to store many items in my pantry within those jars. I adore the canning type but I'll use just about any kind of glass container over plastic any day. I took anything open and stored the items in the glass jars. Muffin liners, dried berries, baking and soda powder, nuts, flax seed, barley and much more. My icing sugar is in the Ice Cream container. If I had my way EVERYTHING would be stored in a glass jar....the look of it just makes me happy.

I also decided to put my salt in a glass jar. I have a small basket with my baking powder, soda and vanilla. I grab the basket whenever I bake so I have all these basic ingredients handy. You usually need salt as well so I decided it was time to be rid of the box and put this ingredient in a nice clean jar.

So long nasty pour spout!

Of course I put the two individuals to work that requested this task be done. They enjoyed every minute, assisting in the making of a huge mess.

And finally this job was done! LOVE my baking shelf so organized. I love the idea of the kids getting their own cereal now as well.

Linking up with 5 Minutes For Mom & Tackle It Tuesday.

Quotable Mondays - Patience is Strength

2012-01-23T06:45:00.000-06:00

Patience is not passive;

on the contrary, it is active;

it is concentrated strength.

-Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton

Six Years Later I'm Still Sane

2012-01-20T06:36:00.001-06:00

It's a happy day. I love all my children but the fact that I survived newborn twins, toddler twins and then preschool twins really makes me feel GREAT!

It is hard to be a twin and it is hard to be a parent of twins with a combination of other children to raise as well. Six years later we are happy, content, well adjusted {on most days} and ready to start another day.

Both of these children are happy, social, eager learners, competitive and everything that a normal six year old should be.

They are excited to be six years old {and so am I} and eager to be in Grade One next year. They are eager to play hockey without parents on the ice, eager to draw and paint like their Aunt...they are so excited for life and I love it.

Happy Birthday Sasha and Samuel.

You two are a huge blessing in my life and I adore watching you grow and learn. I love that you still want to cuddle with Mom & Dad, you love us to read you books, play games and are helpful with your little brother. I love how you listen to your big brother and see him as a form of security when you head off to school. I hope the bond never breaks between you all.

Wordless Wednesday - What's Down That Road?

2012-01-18T08:32:00.002-06:00

Linking up with 5 Minutes For Mom & Wordless Wednesday.

Counting My Blessings

2012-01-16T16:54:00.004-06:00

9. Little boy following Daddy around in yard.

10. Daddy letting little boy follow him around outside in yard.

Quotable Monday

2012-01-16T00:00:00.000-06:00

Sometimes

you don’t know when you’re taking the first step through a door

until you’re already inside.

-Ann Voskamp,

One Thousand Gifts:
A Dare To Live Fully Right Where You Are

Friday Funny - Oh sO mE!!!!

2012-01-13T00:00:00.000-06:00

Counting My Blessings

2012-01-12T07:28:00.001-06:00

8. As I serve my three year old his precious Mini Wheats he says "Happy Birthday to you."

Wordless Wednesday - How I Find My Children

2012-01-11T06:52:00.001-06:00

When you are covering a few acres....like 90 or so

.....sometimes hollering their name just does not work.

Not so wordless today.

Quotable Mondays - Life's A Crisis

2012-01-09T06:02:00.004-06:00

Life is a succession of crises and moments when we have to rediscover who we are and what we really want. -Jean Vanier

For My Fellow Stay At Home Moms

2012-01-06T08:05:00.003-06:00

Happy Friday!

Wordless Wednesday - Sun & Snow

2012-01-04T06:35:00.004-06:00

Linking up with Wordless Wednessday & 5 Minutes For Mom.

Accepting My Weaknesses

2012-01-03T07:02:00.000-06:00

I'd like to throw out a plea for help regarding my blog header. How do I get the picture to spread across the header area? I have done this once before but my brain cannot find where it stored the info.

I would be very happy to have assistance to figure the above situation out. Thank you in advance.

As for today...well...the kids are all back in school. My youngest has preschool at 8:30 a.m. and I highly doubt he will arrive on time. There is a reason why afternoon preschool always worked for me.

I am stealing a friend's idea and decided to start keeping track of my moods. I have a sneaking suspicion that I am like many others out there that fall off the range of "normal" once in awhile and I want to know if it has anything to do with the beginning of my menopause journey and what the doctor has put me on for such.

Yes I'm turning a whopping 38 and menopause and I are becoming friends already.

It is just the beginning of the midlife journey but my doctor feels it does not hurt to be prepared for what is going to come.

So I will track my moods and where I am at in the month...follow the moon sort of thing... and find out if I am in need of more meds to stabilize.

And this is where I feel like damaged goods.

I have been through Infertility and the death of my Mom and have never been on any sort of drug to help me through day to day functions. I am now at a point in my life where I am thinking for my children's best interest maybe I need to consider this option.

Everybody has ups and downs...EVERYBODY experiences bad moods. I get that, but I feel like a such a failure when I let my emotions get me down down down down...get the point? FAILURE I really dislike that word.

One thing I must do is start to accept that I sometimes cannot take control of everything. I know that but to actually follow the actions of my attitude {Proverbs 3} is another story.

So when I say this year is about ME it is more about just relaxing and taking care of myself...it's about acknowledging that I am just me...I am not in control but CAN make choices for myself that will enhance, improve, and develop my life so those that I care about {my children} will not be damaged by my weaknesses.

I also realize that honesty is huge here and I do not have a problem sharing **smiles**. I just need to learn what to share and how to share it.

Therapy session over for today. Have a good one...I have a busy one.

Quotable Monday

2012-01-02T07:42:00.006-06:00

Conflict cannot survive without your participation.

~ Dr. Wayne Dyer

Refresh

2012-01-01T10:04:00.002-06:00

Happy New Year - It's All About Me

2011-12-31T10:06:00.004-06:00

Do you make New Year's Resolutions?

I usually throw something out there in my mind that I'd like to change. It's usually something to do with my health or weight. I have wanted to have a more disciplined lifestyle, read more classic books and so on.

Truly nothing exciting.

This year is different. Maybe what's on my list will not be exciting for you to read but I do feel excitement of the challenge I have set before me for 2012.

This year is about me.

Yes...me.

This year I plan on looking at the ugly things about myself and working on them. This past month has been awful...... emotionally and in turn physically. I wish I could share some things but you can't understand most of it without knowing the petty stuff and I have decided not to share that anymore.

I am so blessed to have a some very ~~good~~ GREAT friends who have given me the time and acceptance to release what is bothering me. I can never thank them enough for listening and encouraging me.

My sisters have also been there with their wise advice and knowing they are there no matter what is enough for me.

So this year...with the encouragement and advice I have received from my husband, family and friends I am going to work on me.

I am going to give myself time without feeling guilty.

I am going to take baby steps.

I am going to feed myself full of the good stuff and stay away from the negative until I feel like I can take it and then throw it away.

I am going to keep hearing the words of those that love me and shut out the ugly words of those that could care less if I exist.

I am going to give my time to those that need me. I need to be needed. That makes me happy.... helping, listening, nuturing, anything I can to help.

I am going to find time to relax.

I am going to find time to sleep.

I am going to try to turn the guilt I feel for time out for myself into something else.

I know I do not need much. I ask my husband for an hour during the day to find some quiet and use my time wisely and it helps to regain my sanity before I jump back in the parenting trenches. I don't do this everyday but when he is working alot I try to get a snippet of time.

Bare with me while I travel this journey...it may not be your thing to read about what inspires me to be happy and peaceful but the alternative to this is not alot of enjoyable reading either.

Happy New Year!!!!!!!!!

Wordless Wednesday - The Rink 2011-12

2011-12-21T06:57:00.001-06:00

Every year our rink gets bigger and better.

I love how my husband lighted up the skating are this year.

That means more hours to skate.

Linking up with Wordless Wednesday over at 5 Minutes For Mom.

I Am Still Here

2011-12-20T05:55:00.001-06:00

Remember me? The writer of this blog. Yes, I have totally been neglecting my duties as a blog owner. Truth be told I am suffering some sort of seasonal depression.

This morning I read a few blog posts that helped flip my mind around. I woke this morning not feeling so great mentally and I am still battling physical illness...but life goes on.

I guess that's the message today. Life goes on.

Life goes on not matter what you are feeling.

Life goes on even though your sick.

Life goes on even though people are hurting and starving in this world.

Life goes on even when someone doesn't like you.

Life goes on even when someone is gone from this Earth.

Yes, life goes on though the aches and pains of everyday living.

Guess I should find my happy face and move on too.

Quotable Mondays - Yup, My Feelings Exactly.....

2011-12-19T08:39:00.005-06:00

You have a freak flag.

You just don't fly it.

- Ben Stone "The Family Stone"

Hunting Buddies

2011-12-14T06:32:00.002-06:00

This was an exciting moment for our son.

He was with Dad when he shot this buck a few weeks ago.

Linking up with 5 Minutes Of Mom & Wordless Wednesday.

The Gift of Time

2011-12-12T06:31:00.000-06:00

Anyone else find the Christmas Spirit?

I am so lucky to have some friends online that do cheer me up with their Holiday excitement, but otherwise I am Grumpy Gus.

Yesterday I took my Granny to do her Christmas shopping and to be honest I expected the uglies to come out in people. I was surprised to find many people laughing along and apologizing with me as we bumped butts in the aisles. Literally one lady and I bent and bumped our butts at the same time....we laughed! I was on the Barbie aisle in a local store and said out loud "Barbie's not on sale so this gals outta here!". A lady laughed and said "Me too!".

My Granny is a brave soul and really wanted to go to the dollar store in our mall. This store is so hard to maneuver in but you should have seen my Granny with her red shopping cart. I wanted to run ahead of her and wave flags and warn people that she was coming through.

Though I did not accomplish what I needed to do in the city it felt good that I could provide her with the gift of time. My Granny does not want us to give her gifts, she just wants us to visit and come by often. We do visit but sometimes life gets in the way and hockey and other activities get in the way. When we are ill we must stay away too.

I think the best way to get the grumpies away was for me to do this. I was sporting a huge migraine headache too but it was worth it....so worth it.

Quotable Mondays

2011-12-12T06:17:00.001-06:00

In other words we realized that the unconditional love
we thought we always had was actually very conditional love because
our mouths said one thing but our actions said something else.

~ Jayne

I do not know if the name of the person quoted is correct because of the source BUT....this quote did come from Single Dad Laughing in this post.

If you are interested in reading the very first post that is causing all the commotion and in my eyes is INCREDIBLE insight then please click on this link to
"I'm Christian, unless Your Gay."

Wordless Wednesday - Friday Afternoon Knitting Club

2011-12-07T06:55:00.001-06:00

Monkey See, Monkey Do!

Linking up with 5 Minutes For Mom & Wordless Wednesday.

Quotable Monday

2011-12-05T06:45:00.001-06:00

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree:

the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other.

~Burton Hillis

The Working Man

2011-12-04T07:41:00.001-06:00

I was reading Gayle's blog this morning and was reminded once again how much she appreciates how hard her husband works. I was brought up a farmer's daughter married a trucker and have seen how many men in my life have provided with the use of their strong hands.

When I listen to this I think of my Dad, Grandpa, Father In Law, and Husband. Thank you to all of them for providing this wonderful life we have.

For you too Gayle!

Smiling

2011-12-01T09:23:00.001-06:00

Today is a new day! We had some hiccups this morning but we got through them and today we are smiling.

The Christmas music is blaring...my three year old is home with me so I am not alone and we are enjoying each other's company.

I must finish the decorations and move onto Christmas cards.

There will always be to much on my to do list but today I shall face it with a smile and some get up and go. I think we may even see some sunshine today!!!!

And Then It's Here....

2011-11-30T15:44:00.001-06:00

Every year around the first week in October I start to think of the Christmas season. I am not one that goes crazy with gifts in dollar amounts but I do enjoy giving gifts. I often prepare homemade jam, squares, bread and other goodies to give out to friends, family and neighbors. I enjoy the season for just that....harmony with others. A slow down enjoy family, remember traditions that are gone with loved ones that have passed on, and generally just slowing down time. A break from school, hockey, work and many other things that just fill up our days. I usually have all the gifts purchased early and usually online so I do not have to be in the stores during the rush.

Why today on the eve of December am I so darn cranky? I love this season and the reason of why we celebrate. Am I the only one that can cry listening to "O' Holy Night"?

Today as I grumbled putting up the decorations I put on Christmas music to get me in the mood. That did not work so I read a beautiful story of Jesus's birth to the youngest three while we set up our nativity, and yet I still am a grump. So disappointed in myself.

I have a busy weekend ahead and next week my husband is gone once again for training. I LOVE that he is receiving this training, I LOVE that he loves his challenging job, I LOVE that he gets paid for the week BUT...I do miss his help and companionship when he is gone.

Maybe that's what it is..maybe it's because the sun has yet to shine this week...maybe I am PMS'ing. I don't know. What I do know is I need to suck it up and put a smile on this face and find some Christmas cheer.

Wordless Wednesday - Rescuing Bob

2011-11-30T07:01:00.001-06:00

Gage thought Bob would love a dip in his cereal.

Linking up with 5 Minutes For Mom & Wordless Wednesday.

And They Were GREAT!

2011-11-25T20:37:00.001-06:00

I am a full Pinterest addict....I will not even try to deny how much I enjoy surfing the website. I tried Bagel Bites today and let me tell you..................

YUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It was super easy as well. You can find the recipe and where the pin came from here.

Enjoy!

Wordless Wednesday - Escape The Cats!!!

2011-11-23T08:18:00.001-06:00

{This was not a leisure walk with the pets...he was really angry they were following him}

Linking up with 5 Minutes For Mom and Wordless Wednesday.

Quotable Mondays

2011-11-21T04:58:00.001-06:00

I feel as if my skin is the only thing keeping me

from going everywhere at once.

-Prince Henry, Ever After: A Cinderella Story

I Can Be Annoying

2011-11-19T07:54:00.001-06:00

I know myself enough to know these things...

1. I'm loud.

2. I like to talk, chit chat, shoot the breeze...you get the point.

3. I know I need to learn to shut up.

4. I am definitely not a loner.

5. I like to keep busy and the busier I am the more I get done.

6. I do not work well under pressure nor do I get any thrill from that feeling.

7. I adore people...

good people, people that do more for others than they do for themselves....

I simply adore hearing their stories or spending time with them.

I know many other things too but the points I made above are some qualities in myself that I know drive some other people bananas. I am learning to come to terms with that. Though I can learn to downgrade the chatter I truly could never quit being so talkative, it's who I am.

There is a point a person needs to embrace these qualities in themselves that maybe are not fully accepted by others and move on. I am not there yet. I'll leave a group gathering and be sooooo embarrassed by something I said or did. That feeling just does not leave right away. I usually get a little sad over it and worry that I offended someone or a certain individual doesn't care to spend anymore time within the space I may be occupying in the universe {might I say it's usually a happy place}.

But then....there are those times you go out on a limb and you know your supposed to open your mouth. You know that you are supposed to go out there and say the words or be in that space. It's never a comfortable feeling but instead your heart is beating faster and you just know....so you do it...you say what's on your mind.

Many times there is no return from those words that you were scared to say BUT you end up seeing the blessings because you chose to speak directly from the heart.

Wordless Wednesday - Sights From The Farm

2011-11-16T06:43:00.001-06:00

Linking up with 5 Minutes For Mom & Wordless Wednesday.

Quotable Mondays

2011-11-14T05:42:00.001-06:00

The less people speak of their greatness,
the more we think of it.

Lord Francis Bacon

A Rant - Preschool & My Kids

2011-11-12T06:38:00.001-06:00

I have two things I must get off my chest so if you are not into the venting posts I suggest you end your reading experience...here.

Number one....Why must people "tease" me of having four children. I do not understand it. Usually these comments happen when I am chasing the youngest or diffusing a battle with the twins. A fellow parent will wink and say "Why not try for one more." one lady leaned over to her husband after witnessing me have an ugly moment and said "..and that is why I am glad we only had two kids." That last comment stung for awhile.

Most of the time these comments come from parents who have three children and are older than my own. Do they simple not remember those days of running after toddlers and preschoolers sick of sitting at their brothers hockey games or were their parenting skills just superior to my own?

These are the days I wish my Mom was here. She would have been right beside me at those rinks chasing after the kids alongside me....OR keeping them at her house, baking cookies or coloring or just sitting with them watching TV. She also would have been encouraging me to forget these comments and assuring me I am a good parent.

When I feel anger and hurt from these comments I try to remember that and not "go there" with others. We have no idea what people are battling in their lives.

Number two....I really need to stop trying to defend my reasons for sending my youngest to preschool at the age of three. I sent all the kids at three years of age but I will admit Gage does seem immature compared to my other children. I think he is right up there with development but his speech is lacking. His vocabulary is growing everyday and now is speaking in sentences but we were worried for awhile.

I think if you can afford preschool and are willing to make the effort to get them there then why not? I see so many good things from my children attending. Most of all the structure they receive, how to follow instructions, their creativity explodes {or so in my children}. I can't say enough good things about it. They also get alot of practice following instructions in French. He attends a total of 5 hours a week.

I have been receiving much flack about this from friends and those who just like to comment on everything. One lady gasped as if I had sent him off to boarding school.

People {meaning those that think I am sending him to boarding school, not my kind readers}...listen up....I feel the preschool I send my child to will only benefit him. Yes, I am a stay at home Mom but my child needs a break from me as much as I need a break from him. I do not have a Mother to deposit him off to whenever I feel like or when I need to get something done. I parent my children 24/7 and I am only human.

The teachers at the preschool compliment each other so wonderfully I cannot express how much I enjoy watching them. The children adore them and when the time comes my child has a fit and states he will not attend then I will deal with it.

Until them I do hope I can bare more comments with a smile and a nod and stuff the anger back down. This is my blog and I can cry if I want to so I am.

Thanks a bunch for reading.

Wordless Wednesday - We Must Never Forget

2011-11-09T05:54:00.001-06:00

Remembrance Day is this Friday. The kids are learning about peace at school and what the poppy stands for. I wanted to talk with the kids more about the sacrifice Canadians made for us to have freedom. I decided not to overdo the Poppy and we used our handprints to make Canadian Flags. We had a great teaching lesson while painting.

A loss of life hits close to home for us. My husband's cousin lost her fiance in Afghanistan three years ago...a few weeks before their son was born. Please take time to remember those who have lost their lives fighting for what we live everyday.

Linking up with Wordless Wednesday over at 5 Minutes For Mom.

Life...

2011-11-08T06:11:00.002-06:00

So.....I have been lazy when it comes to blogging. Okay maybe not lazy but for sure not feeling compelled to type anything into blogger to publish.

Life is a whirlwind these days due to...well...LIFE. I am a proud hockey mom and when you are willing to state this out loud be prepared to be run off your feet racing from rink to rink with kids in tow. What made these last few days so exhausting is the fact my husband has been working alot. My husband is very considerate when it comes to overtime shifts and considers family obligations. This time around we agreed on many shifts for him to work but we did this before we received the hockey schedules. This of course means Mama is dragging all four children to every hockey event for the next month or so. Why I say "dragging"...not sure..these kids love playing hockey. The only one that wants to go home half way through a game is the child that is too young too play.

Deep breath....

We have also been fighting some kind of flu bug. Nothing serious but yet no one in the house is busting full of energy or appetite. I'm sure we will get over it and until then I shall keep the Tylenol, chicken soup and juice stocked. Which of course means another errand to run with kids...the grocery store.

I am excited for a few things on my calendar, a blank square on tomorrow's date means nothing is scheduled!!! The same goes for Thursday but the kids are all home due to no school. Saturday I am hosting a Stampin' Up workshop and am excited to spend the afternoon with others that enjoy paper crafts as much as I do.

In these times where I feel like I am always two steps behind I really need to remember that I am still a good Mom who loves and cares for her family. Instead I usually feel inadequate...self esteem hits a low...you wonder how you would ever get a job outside the home when you can't handle what's happening inside the home. All these thoughts race around my head. I know they are not the truth...I know I do my best but a person has to wonder if they could do more.

What do you fill yourself with to help get out of a negative state of mind?

Wordless Wednesday - Autumn

2011-11-02T09:06:00.002-06:00

Faithful petunias hanging on in the crisp November air....

Linking up with 5 Minutes For Mom and Wordless Wednesday.

Quotable Mondays - Parenting

2011-10-31T10:11:00.001-06:00

When my kids become wild and unruly,

I use a nice, safe playpen.

When they're finished, I climb out.

~Erma Bombeck

Five Year Old Boys..GRRRRRRRRR

2011-10-28T16:50:00.001-06:00

*Today is one of those days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**One child is pushing me slowly into a frenzy and it starts the minute his feet hit the floor in the morning.

***Yes I am quite aware that five year old boys can be chaotic, disrespectful, hyper, and just a plain ole' pain in the butt...BUT...that does not make it any easier to parent him.

****Yes, I do realize I should feel quite blessed he is a healthy growing boy.

*****The above makes me feel even worse when I get upset with him and right now it's alot.

******Thank you for letting me vent........back to the trenches.

Wordless Wednesday - The Rabbit & The Wolf

2011-10-26T06:40:00.001-06:00

{insert creepy music here.....}

{puppet show by Daddy & Sasha}

Linking up with 5 Minutes For Mom & Wordless Wednesday.

Que Sera Sera

2011-10-25T06:20:00.002-06:00

Do you have a burning desire for a career or the one you are in now?

I do not have that yearning for anything and I am starting to wonder if there is something wrong with me. Don't get me wrong I do have jobs I would like to do someday but nothing stands out for me.

The only time I ever felt such a desire for something was when we were trying to conceive a child. It took five years and I really do not want to relive those years or the person I was. I'm not proud of how I reacted to my years of dealing with infertility and looking back I wish I knew what I know now.

I however cannot go back so I pick out how my character grew out of those difficult years for us and go with it.

I am at a point in my life where I should start making choices of what kind of job I am going to look for when my youngest is in school. I know what I want for hours but the choice of job narrows quickly when you put a time frame on how much you want to work.

There are two possibilities of a job choice and one of them needs me to start preparing soon in regards to taking classes for a few years to further my education. The other avenue requires minimal upgrade in education and would give me the same hours, possibly less but still be an enjoyable job to be in...or so I think.

But in all of this thinking in the back of my mind I still have yet to find that burning desire to "BE SOMETHING". I truly believe I AM SOMETHING...I am a Mother to four children, a wife to a busy Law Enforcement Officer and it is hard work!

So inside I know I am where I should be and outside I know that the world wants me to be more...yet I want to fight that.

Today we are asked to push ourselves beyond what is possible in the human body. I refuse to follow suit right now and I am very lucky I don't have to. I know there will be alot more time in the future with all four in school but I still want to be here or there with them at 3 p.m when that bell rings.

Does that sound wrong? It used to be the norm in my day. Yet I know I should contribute to the family income and I have NO problem with that......I just can't seem to find a burning desire for any specific career.

So my choice at the moment is take a job that's flexible and decent pay to help out. Until I have that direction in career choice maybe I should just be satisfied with the fact that at least I have that choice. I am blessed I am able to stay home, I am blessed with four crazy wild children that have more energy than a zoo full of monkeys, I am blessed with a supportive husband who works hard for all of us, so what's my problem?

I really dislike fighting the "world" about what is normal.

And because I am strange this is what is going through my head the whole time writing this post....

**smiles**

Have a GREAT Tuesday!!!

Quotable Mondays - The Mind

2011-10-24T14:11:00.001-06:00

I know because I read...Your mind is not a cage.

It's a garden.

And it requires cultivating.

― Libba Bray

A Mommy Milestone

2011-10-22T11:53:00.004-06:00

My first time making four lunches, yes that means all children were attending school that day.

Enjoy the laugh at me. I think it's quite a milestone.

Wordless Wednesday - An Attempt @ Family Photos...sigh

2011-10-19T07:04:00.002-06:00

(there is not one shot where they are all behaving so I surrender to the reality that is my family...crazy....)

Linking up with 5 Minutes For Mom & Wordless Wednesday.

Quotable Mondays - My friend Chaos

2011-10-17T10:38:00.000-06:00

Chaos is the score upon which reality is written.

-Henry Miller

(this should comfort me in some way...)

Used & Abused

2011-10-16T08:25:00.002-06:00

Can I scream?

I seriously need to scream, have a rant, dance like a monkey...anything to relieve some frustration and stress.

I need to make some serious adjustments in my home in regards to my children's attitudes.

First of all I will take 100% full responsibility for their whining and complaining. I am their parent and somehow we got ourselves into this mess.

On the other hand I realize they are all individuals and each has specifics in their personality. I need to parent each child in a slightly different way but not waver off too far from what our family knows as a norm otherwise we hear ".....but so and so gets to do that why don't I?"

My five year olds are giving me the biggest headache right now. They are intense bundles of energy and being twins you get served that energy in double doses. EXHAUSTING!!!

I have begun to separate them for small portions of time when they are home. They "think" they need to always be beside each other yet they DRIVE each other up the wall...then a fight starts and let me tell you Mama is not happy about the hitting going on in this house.

I need to also find a discipline for each of them. They all have a different currency and that seems to change as they grow. As of lastnight all of the children were stripped of every luxury they know and were told of harsh discipline if they have the usual fit in any specific situation. Suck it up buttercup you cannot have a tantrum because I only read you one book! Yes we are dealing with stuff like that.

My goal like any other parent is to raise well rounded, kind, caring, but yet strong adults. Not the opposite. I believe a foundation starts now when they are young. We will however leave the two year old out of this equation for now.

HE IS A WHOLE OTHER POST!

He is like no other child in this family. I could go on and on but I do believe he is one of the key ingredients for the chaos I head into every night before bed. My children know the rules, they know how to follow rules but throw in the two year old that has to push every button and you got a war!!!

So needed to vent and vent I did. I do hope I am not the only Mom out there feeling used and abused lately. I encourage my children to do things on their own but I also know they need me yet for many tasks. Most days I can handle it but then there was yesterday. What can I say? I fell of the "keep it together" boat and I am sinking in the shark infested waters of guilt and conviction.

Wordless Wednesday - Meow!

2011-10-12T14:51:00.000-06:00

Linking up with 5 Minutes For Mom & Wordless Wednesday.

Quotable Mondays - Be You

2011-10-10T08:33:00.003-06:00

People travel to wonder at the height of mountains, at the huge waves of the sea,
at the long courses of rivers, at the vast compass of the ocean, at the circularmotion of the stars; and they pass by themselves without wondering...

Now, let us acknowledge the wonder of our physical incarnation— that we are here, in these particular bodies, at this particular time, in these particular circumstances.
May we never take for granted the gift of our individuality.

— Saint Augustine of Hippo (354-430)

Time Well Spent

2011-10-08T11:48:00.001-06:00

Sometimes I get "too busy" to sit down and do something with my kids

This was time well spent......

ReAliTy #6 - Halloween Decorations?

2011-10-07T06:59:00.002-06:00

Wondering if I should just let this one go.....

The pictures do not do this fine crafted web justice.

The kids think it should stay till Halloween is over :).

Wordless Wednesday - Annual Pumpkin Patch Picture

2011-10-05T06:44:00.002-06:00

A crop of 27 pumpkins this year. Better than expected!

Linking up with 5 Minutes For Mom and Wordless Wednesday.

Tackle It Tuesday - Comfort Food

2011-10-04T15:23:00.005-06:00

Autumn is here...it's windy, the temperature is cooler, the leaves are turning color and to me it is all so BEAUTIFUL!

I love this time of year and it makes me want to cook up some yummy comfort food. I spent all afternoon in my kitchen preparing meals to eat right away and some meals to freeze.

Started off with Pizza Casserole...it was DELICIOUS and all little people loved it in my household.

The twins wanted to make sugar cookies so we whipped of some while my soup was simmering.

What is a windy, cool, Fall day without a bowl of Chicken Soup?

Doubled the batch!!

I had leftover potatoes and a bit of ground beef from the pizza casserole so I decided to make indivdual sized Sheperd's Pie. No one eats this except me in my house so I made two for me and two for my Granny. Hope it freezes okay.

So it was a busy day yesterday but so appropriate for a Tackle.

Head on over to 5 Minutes For Mom and be inspired.

Quotable Mondays

2011-10-03T06:00:00.000-06:00

Submission is not about authority and it is not obedience;

it is all about relationships of love and respect.

-William P. Young

You And Me...What That Means

2011-10-02T07:58:00.000-06:00

I will be turning 38 in a few short months. Highschool was twenty years ago yet I feel I'm still there sometimes when in regards to relationships with other people.

I am at the phase in life where things are changing once again. Remember when you went from working spouse to stay at home spouse because a special delivery arrived? Those days are slowly coming to an end for me. My youngest is starting preschool in a few short weeks.   No longer will I have those kids at home to invite playdates {with Mommies along to visit}. Which to me means less interaction!

I thrive on connecting socially with others. I enjoy chatting with Moms, LOVE talking with seniors and enjoy watching kids get to know each other. I recently had a playdate at a friends house with three of my children and only one of hers {three others were in school}. It was an awesome playdate. The kids played together and we enjoyed chatting over coffee and lunch. I know I felt refreshed in my spirit when I left there and I hope my friend did too.

We all need relationship to keep balanced in our busy lives. I know as a Mom my first thoughts of the day are never about myself but of my family.   Everything I plan including my spare time revolves around my family's schedule. If I want to sit and have a cup of coffee or write a post like this I have to wait until my little one's are occupied or in bed sleeping otherwise my brain does not work.

So my need for personal space and personal relationship are huge in my life. If I empty myself for others I need to fill it up in some way right?

I am in a different space than some of my really good mommy friends. I don't seem to fit in with my friends prekids and I am not yet into meeting Mom's with kids at my children's school.

Okay I take that last sentence back...I am into meeting Mothers of children at our school. The problem is I feel like people do not want to engage in relationship with others {or me}. Afterall it is time consuming to have a relationship with another person and in our society today who has that time?

I am willing to make that time. I enjoy listening to my friends issues, troubles and joys in life. I think of many friends constantly. I may not speak with them all the time but I know they are thinking of my family and myself on a daily basis.

So why are people scared to engage?

I was feeling really down lastnight because I did not attend an event with my husband. We did have a babysitter issue but in truth I am very much over the "drinking/dancing" stage in my life. Don't get me wrong I enjoy adult conversation and alcoholic drinks just not in the setting where this event was.

The self esteem was lagging because I want to stay true to who I am but I mourn relationships which were once strong because I no longer see some social activities as fun or fulfilling. I wish I could put this in more descriptive words! Let's just say one minute I feel great that I know who I am and other times I feel like I am taking a totally different direction than many people I care about.

Make sense?

Probably not because there is that possibility I am making this way more than it should be. I did end up receiving a phone call from a fellow Mom and new friend. From just a light conversation she made me feel I was not the only one taking a step away from "the norm". It put a smile on my face and lightened my mood greatly.  I need also add that this encouragment was done in a way that we were not trashing anyone that chose to enjoy a night of dancing and drinking. In NO way were we making ourselves out to be better than anyone else. It was more a confirmation in who we are, though I am pretty sure she was not feeling like a lost sheep, that was just me!

And there stands my case for relationships....we need to build each other up in ways that are free of anything but true care and concern. We need more straight shooters and less people hiding behind what society thinks makes us well liked.

It is so very simple and we make it all so complicated.

So the next time you are thinking of a friend call them, text them, or facebook them but do something. Straight shoot!

Fibers on Friday - Scarf...Almost Complete

2011-09-30T12:54:00.001-06:00

This is my first scarf and my first experience with bead stitch so I should not be surprised I have had to rip out and redo many stitches along the way. Here it is...

Lucky for me we are still not in winter wear weather {say that three times fast} but I will be happy when it is finished and waiting for me to wrap around my neck.

Linking up with Beth and Fibers on Friday.

Wordless Wednesday - Standoff!

2011-09-28T13:16:00.002-06:00

Guess who won?

Linking up with 5 Minutes For Mom & Wordless Wednesday.

Quotable Mondays

2011-09-26T07:38:00.001-06:00

For some moments in life there are no words.

~David Seltzer, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

Nine years ago today I lost my Mom to cancer. I can relive that day in my head. I remember laying on my bed just stunned, not crying, not knowing how to feel. I remember friends coming to the house with food and hugs. I never cried then. I'm not sure I cried much until the funeral.

It is true....there are moments in life there are no words to help, explain or heal. I will say time does help but to be honest I still miss her. How can I not.....she was my Mother.

As always on this date I ask you to hug your Mom today, tell her you love her and if those words are tough to get out just contact her, honor her in some way today. Do this in memory of my Mother and to help heal the ache in my heart today.

For those of you that have let me"borrow" me your Mom I thank you. Sometimes its just nice to have a Mom ask you how you are doing.

Wordless Wednesday - Mon Chat, Mon Amie...

2011-09-21T20:38:00.001-06:00

Linking up with 5 Minutes For Mom & Wordless Wednesday.

Quotable Mondays

2011-09-19T07:07:00.000-06:00

The meaning of life is to find your gift.

The purpose of life is to give it away.

~Author Unknown

ReAliTy #5

2011-09-16T06:06:00.000-06:00

When one room has had the Cleaning Fairy wave her magic wand

{yeah right}......

....the Disaster Fairy hits the room next door

{or maybe it was the three kids I kept shooing out of the other room}.

Gotta love reality.

Wordless Wednesday - R.I.P Froggy?

2011-09-14T06:34:00.003-06:00

???

Linking up with 5 Minutes For Mom & Wordless Wednesday.

Change of The Seasons

2011-09-13T06:39:00.003-06:00

There is a harmony in autumn,

and a luster in its sky,

which through the summer is not heard or seen,

as if it could not be,

as if it had not been!

~Percy Bysshe Shelley

I currently reside where I lived as a child. To be honest I never ventured far. There are so many reasons why we built our house on family land. For myself it is where my heart is. I can walk through our pastures and have so many memories of my Grandfather and fun times with my Dad. You learn to have a huge appreciation for the life they gave you when you walk where they worked so hard.

When school began in the fall all of a sudden everything changed. The leaves on the trees turned yellow, the air was colder and best of all.... you got to wear your new clothes! But for me it was always the geese that held the start of change. I loved standing at the end of the lane for the school bus and they would fly right over... so low I could see the different colors in their feathers. I loved their honking and to this day I enjoy waking up to their noise....flying overhead in the early morning hours on their way to the riverbank or the fields for a feed.

Have a great Tuesday!

Quotable Mondays

2011-09-12T06:42:00.001-06:00

Never fear shadows.

They simply mean there's a light shining somewhere nearby.

~ Ruth E. Renkel

The Day Has Arrived - Kindergarten For The Twins

2011-09-08T06:32:00.000-06:00

Not sure where to go with the emotions today. The day my twins go off to school has finally arrived. To be honest one moment I am giddy with joy, anticipating fun things to do with just Gage, a cleaner house for most of the day which means less work for me, and the quiet for a little bit. I know I will miss their noisy bodies but a Mama needs her quiet time once in awhile.

Enough about me...the twins are excited and more than ready for this. They attended an all day every day French Summer Camp a few weeks ago and LOVED it. They did not want it to end.

I woke up at 4:30 {not on my own a 2 year old had a lot to do with it}, settled him in bed beside the 5 year old that is between my husband and I {don't judge, sometimes it's easier to have them crash with you for a few hours so they get some sleep} and then I was awake. Awake with nerves for the two of them as they go off today without my protection!

GASP!!!!!!!!!

I do not have fear with the academics of school, nor the social aspect...my kids can hold their own. I fear for the bus ride and playground activities. Yes, I am one of those moms!!!

I know my anxiety will settle the moment I see them playing on the playground equipment. When they rush off the bus today and tell me all about their day. I KNOW it will be okay.

I have done this before with our now 8 year old....what's my problem?

I think it's because these two are different. My oldest marches in a room and just deals with what is coming to him. These two are emotional, or at least my daughter is. I really have no worries of my son, I worry more for the teacher in his case.

Maybe it's because they are twins. Everything doubles....especially my emotions {good or bad}.

I am excited for them and excited for Gage and I to have some time together for a full day. I usually do not mourn the fact that they are growing. I am one to look at the exciting changes happening and how they are loving every minute of growing up. I cannot go back in the past and change anything, but I can sit and listen to their stories of how we used to hold them when they were babies {of course they only know this because of pictures}.

I must tuck my nervous emotions back in, pray for safety on the way to school, and remember to take pictures!!!!!

Now I'm off to make three lunches instead of one, gather three backpacks, shoes, and jackets instead of just one of each. I promised them a special breakfast of pancakes and treats they love for that very first day. Our oldest is excited too because he loves to be in charge and today we asked him to help the kids with the bus ride and getting them to their teacher when they arrive.

Another milestone in the bag.

Pictures to come.

Wordless Wednesday - Blankie

2011-09-07T06:52:00.002-06:00

Love how they hold on to those security blankies as long as they can.

This little boy will head to Kindergarten tomorrow.

My how time flies.

Linking up with 5 Minutes For Mom @ Wordless Wednesday.

Quoteable Mondays

2011-09-05T08:47:00.000-06:00

Make somebody happy today.

Mind your own business.

~Ann Landers

A Scarf

2011-09-03T10:09:00.004-06:00

I am so excited to be back knitting. I have yet to knit myself a scarf and I do love my scarves in our -40 C weather. I found a patteron on pinterest and ordered some yarn.

The yarn is super soft {Crystal Palace Mochi Plus in Autum Rainbow} and I LOVE the color.

I am learning to do the Beaded Rib Stitch. I am super slow but am loving the results.

A big thank you to Beth who at one time suggested I get bamboo needles! I LOVE them.

Linking up with Beth & Fibers on Friday.

ReAliTy #4

2011-09-02T10:49:00.004-06:00

Right by my front door......

Dust forever my foe!

Post your reality and leave a link in the comments.

Let's all support each other in our domestic failures!

Wordless Wednesday - Snow Storm?

2011-08-31T07:07:00.000-06:00

Linking with 5 Minutes for Mom and Wordless Wednesday.

Quoteable Mondays - Normal

2011-08-29T08:55:00.002-06:00

My theory is that the hardest work anyone does in life

is to appear normal.

~From the movie Ed TV

Decisions!

2011-08-25T08:04:00.001-06:00

I have been having these thoughts lately....they just randomly pop up in my head.

**POOF**

"One day my sons will bring home a girl they want us to meet."

**POOF**

"This will be the last time I shop at this store for my oldest son...next year these clothes will be too babyish for him."

**POOF**

"How will I ever keep food in this house when these boys are all teenagers?"

Thoughts of the future. I have always lived in the here and now because I am way too busy to think about what may be. Not sure where all this is coming from. My oldest will be turning nine in a few months. He is going to be a massive man one day...like his Father. I'm slightly terrified when he hits teenage years.....we may have to hire help just for grocery shopping.

Along with future thoughts of my children come ideas of what my life will look like. I keep thinking I will go back to work as soon as I can. Something part time, possibly try to get into the school system so I can be home in the summer with the kids.

Then.... reality will strike and I think of the activities, after school sports and programs that my children will probably be involved in and I wonder how will I do it all.

To all you working Mom's....I admire you.

So we go back and forth on if I should get a part time job to help out with the monthly income. My husband supports whatever decision I pursue but he also will put in his thoughts. I wrestled with a position that is open right now, a perfect job with hours and such. Should I apply?

After much debate we decided this year was not the time for it. .
But....even after the decision was made I wrestled with the thoughts again. I am reading Lysa Terkeurst's book "Am I Messing Up My Kids?" and something she wrote made me realize I am making the right decision to stay home this next year and make my family the number one priority.

"I am convinced there is no greater way to model for our kids the heart of God than to serve our families with a happy heart."

I am blessed that I do not have to work and we can live without a major financial constraint so for this year we will continue with Mom at home.

I can serve my family with a happy heart. I can feel joy getting that cup of juice, defusing an argument {I need some work on finding the joy in that} and spending much time in the truck driving here and there to activities.

Are there days I want out of here....OH YES! Are there days I would rather be in an office of adult conversation....OH YES! But my place is here right now. I am starting to realize how important this time is.

I need to be here right now in the thick of raising little people.

Not just for their development but for mine.

{Please know that I am not in anyway stating that Moms should not work. I do not feel that way at all!! This post was about my family and what is best for us. I believe working Moms can serve their families with a happy heart too :)}

Wordless Wednesday - A Million Wishes

2011-08-24T07:23:00.000-06:00

Linking up with 5 Minutes For Mom and Wordless Wednesday.

2011-08-23T07:29:00.000-06:00

Yesterday's quote....simple but so true. I never believed those that said life just gets better as you receive wisdom. I knew life experience would change me. Life experience such as travelling or trauma, missions or marriage, or the many other "big" things that happen to people. I never thought life experience from just living could create wisdom, spiritual growth and so much more.

I know people who are mean, just plain old mean. These people want things their way and if you cannot provide this to them then you are not worthy to be on the same patch of dirt they are standing upon. They can be fake, dishonest, manipulative and have values that are shallow.

This is all from my point of view of course. From their point of view I am scum so I guess we can call it even.

My point is we all know people like this, mean people.

Yesterday's quote talks to all of us. It does take courage to change. View the world differently. Try a little harder, come out of our shell.

I feel like I have been working on this specific task a VERY long time. In my thirties, since becoming a mother I have realized that this change within me cannot be for the happiness of others...but for myself and that it will continue for the rest of my life.

I strive for good, I fail alot but I am willing to keep trying.

I also love these changes that keep happening within me.

It would be so much easier to just keep disliking these people that are mean. The hard part is seeing through all of that. I waiver, go back and forth, somedays I cannot control how angry I am at them. I wonder if there way is right and I'm just a sucker.

I don't think I am wrong. I think striving to be generous, empathetic, kind, respectful is the change I want and what I want my children to learn. The hard part......modeling the behaviour even when emotionally you are not feeling generous, empathetic or kind.

Dang emotions...ugh.

Quotable Monday's - Growing Up

2011-08-22T07:10:00.000-06:00

It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.

~e.e. cummings

Mish Mash #3

2011-08-20T08:46:00.000-06:00

* Day four of my diet and I KNOW for a fact I am planning on falling off the wagon for a few hours today {movie popcorn and pop}.

**Day four and I have lost 4lbs.....the most noticeable....the puffiness in the baby bulge on PMS week is not present, I am enjoying this.

***I now believe and understand how and why certain food and POP (my beloved Co*Ca Co*la) makes you puffy. This realization however will not deter me from enjoying a cup today. I shall deal with the consequence.

****The above statements have changed my perspective on food which was the intent of this diet/experiment.

*****Off to see "The Help" today with a good friend. We have to drive 3 hours to see it because the movie will not be coming to our somewhat busy city. But we are not bitter...we are set free for a few hours child free. What is there to be bitter about?

******Took the kids for a walk yesterday. It is 1 mile to the farm where my Granny lives. They enjoyed picking flowers, sighting snakes and arguing....yes just like they would if we stayed home...sigh...

I made them pose for this!!!

*******Trying to overcome some serious Mommy guilt. Booked a weekend at a friend's house. She lives 4 hours away. She has a very comfy futon that only comes with a cat instead of a husband and two children. This means I have lots of room to stretch out and possibly....POSSIBLY...get some sleep without being awakened by tiny feet hitting my nose. I aim to scrapbook my youngest's baby book while I am there, enjoy some good conversation and REST my little brain.

*********Encouraged I have not had a carbohydrate in four days! Amazed at what I am doing. I have not been on a diet for many many years. Love the way I feel too, energized!!!!

**********Sam just asked me if we could eat skunk. My answer was no but feel free to chime in on this one.

Wordless Wednesday - Sights At Home

2011-08-17T08:20:00.001-06:00

Linking up with 5 Minutes For Mom and Wordless Wednesday.

Quotable Monday's - Imaginary Letters

2011-08-15T07:17:00.000-06:00

Some of the

secret joys of living are not found by rushing

from point A to point B,

but by inventing some imaginary letters along the way.

~Douglas Pagels,

These Are the Gifts I'd Like to Give to You

To Be Or Not To Be….

2011-08-11T12:42:00.003-06:00

....a big mean strict overbearing parent that is.

I am confused on many parenting “rules”. You need to decide so many guidelines to live by. There needs to be some sort of regulations set in place or else no one is happy {or develops} because chaos ensues…but…do you go as far as timing the kids for each specific task or do you let many things slide because they are kids?

This is where I am confused and searching for my own way.

I just laid down with my two year old so he would have a nap. He is the only child home with me at the moment so I took the opportunity to lie with him in my bed. This is not a norm for us. He is really good at falling asleep in his own bed for naps {bedtime is another story}.

Today I wanted to cuddle and listen to his soft breathing and we had some diaper leakage lastnight so his bed is not made and the blankets are still in the laundry..not done…yet...blah blah blah.

As I lay there I started to think how much is too much regarding strictness?

Where do we draw the line on how far we can let our kids be kids?

Reality is they are children and should not be forced to maintain some kind of ridiculous regime like adults have too in the real world.

Do I lack as a parent because I let my kids crawl into me bed for an afternoon nap? I consider that a treat for him. The safety and security he feels probably will make him feel more loved than if I had shoved him in his bed crying and wailing because he senses the house is “different” without his siblings ~~fighting and yelling~~ laughing and enjoying themselves.

Do I develop strict guidelines on how much TV watching , laziness, and sleeping in my children do during the summer? Or do I let them have this relaxation time because as an adult I sure as heck wish I’d relax a bit.

Society today is run as fast as you can, go as far as you can go, and do as much as you can do all in the shortest amount of time. Do I really want my kids feeling that pressure right now? Or do I let them watch 2 hours of TV instead of 30 minutes.

The same goes for housework. I live in my house. My family lives in this house. Let me say it again….we live in the house. Therefore, should it not look lived in?

Why do the floors always need to be shining with no footprints on them? Why do the toilets always have to be without that drip on the seat? Why does the laundry room need to look empty? Will a house that looks like it came out of a magazine and the stress on the Mother that has to keep it that way really make my kids the people they need to be in this world?

I truly believe we need to give our children guidelines, chores, and responsibility. As a parent to four wild children I will admit I love their craziness... at times. The mounds of paper they go through expressing the creativity, the disorganization of the dressup clothes, the odd things they play with instead of their toys they HAD to have for birthday and Christmas presents.

But…sometimes I wonder, should I be tougher? Should I draw the line?

I’m sure there are specific moments we need to be more a dictator than a diplomat. Sometimes the finger needs to point and sometimes we just need to pat them on the back.

I also really believe there are times when we need to fulfill the whim. Just like Michelle from The Space Between Raindrops wrote about here.

We need to stop being so darn busy and enjoy some moments with our families. Today I began with that cuddle and many thoughts on what I'm going to let go and what I'm going to stand strong on for my kids.

Wordless Wednesday - My Child's Dream.....

2011-08-10T08:04:00.000-06:00

Linking up with 5 Minutes For Mom &

Wordless Wednesday.

Quotable Monday's - A Perfect World

2011-08-08T08:02:00.000-06:00

Each day, awakening, are we asked to paint the sky blue?

Need we coax the sun to rise or flowers to bloom?

Need we teach birds to sing, or children to laugh, or lovers to kiss?

No, though we think the world imperfect,

it surrounds us each day with its perfections.

We are asked only to appreciate them,

and to show appreciation by living in peaceful harmony amidst them.

The Creator does not ask that we create a perfect world;

He asks that we celebrate it.

~Robert Brault

Outtakes At Outback

2011-08-07T08:35:00.000-06:00

What happens when the littles have the camera....

Overcoming The Ugly

2011-08-06T08:45:00.001-06:00

Why do I tend to complicate things?

I am not sure if I have some existing mental condition or if it is the ways of a woman but I can cause great difficulties with any situation. Most of the time these complicated problems arise only in the inner parts of my brain but let me tell you they make the outside world quite hard to deal with.

I have a few of these situations happening right now.....churning in my mind...waiting to blow. I go over things repeatedly to justify the emotions that I am feeling. A huge problem happens when the dialogue happening within spills out of my mouth. I tend to think some friends and my husband want to shut me down after going over my difficult situation for the umpteenth time. {For those of you that do listen to my repetitive self therapy I thank you for sticking it out and I will try not to do it anymore **smiles**}

And really how diffcult is my life...really? Food on the table, clothes on my back, healthy family who loves me even in my ugliness.

This whole process I go through when life gets complicated makes me feel like I am weak. There are plenty of times I feel strong, backed by my beliefs in a God that will always guide me. And there are times like this when I fall prey to lies and deceit. I hear in my head the awful things that people really think of me.

I know you all have heard that awful voice too.

I am aware of that voice. I am aware it's not true. But where do you go from there. The battle is my problem. How do you win over it without hurting anyone else or yourself?

My usual is ~~waiting it~~ hiding out till the uncomfortable situation or event is over then I get on with my life and try to pretend the feelings never happened.

How do you deal with negative self talk? How do you overcome that feeling of unworthy when it's put there by a past hurt in which someone else had a hand in it. I now realize the more I talk my self down my mouth starts in on others!

Ugh, I sound like such a wuss and I should know the answer but I'm weak right now. I look in the mirror and see somebody overweight, lazy, maybe not the best parent they need to be right now.

I am not looking for flattery, I am looking for an answer to see past those ugly words.

On our road trip I found these flowers {black eyed susan's I believe but I'm sure someone will correct me if I'm wrong}.

Are they not pretty along side the paved road?

What an odd place to be beautiful........

Mish Mash #2

2011-08-05T09:23:00.001-06:00

* my kids apparently miss the lake life, the sofa is the pontoon boat, the carpet is the water, huge pillows are fish.

**I am super lazy yet my mind is racing.

***I need a Mom holiday, desperately need some time away to regroup the brain cells. I love my children and husband but I can feel any creative energy is gone. Being creative makes me happy.

**** I NEED to get back to exercising. I can almost feel Jillian giving me a dirty look even though she has no idea I exist on this world. My mental status is also paying for the laziness.

***** Why oh why did I ever join pinterest???????????? I heart this website. Right now it is the only thing making me feel good but at the same time I feel guilty for wasting so much time. Sigh....

****** We are making homemade bread today to go with our homemade jelly. I will only eat one bun, I will only eat one bun...repeat, repeat, repeat.....

******* That's IT!!!! I need to look at the bright side....I have a home, food, healthy family and gorgeous sunshine. Today I will forget garter snakes and have a picnic outside with my beautiful kids.

******** I WILL get out of this yuckiness.

Wordless Wednesday - You Lookin' At Me?

2011-08-03T08:09:00.000-06:00

We found out after viewing the Gorillas that you should not try to make eye contact with them if you wan them to notice you. Apparently if you look them straight in the eye they will not look back. A direct stare means you want to be their girlfriend or you are looking for a fight.

WHOOPS!

Linking up with 5 Minutes For Mom and Wordless Wednesday.

Quotable Mondays

2011-08-01T07:14:00.000-06:00

Love is how you stay alive, even after you are gone.

- Mitch Albom

Vacation Update

2011-07-30T08:00:00.000-06:00

We are still on vacation with our children. This is our first week long road trip as a family of six and to be honest I was not sure at all how it would all go.

I guess I should just have some faith right?

The days are flying by filled with activities. I am discovering that my kids are much like me. I like to look more than do. My children are very happy to just discover new things..... see new sites. I am so proud of their behaviour. Cannot say I am proud of how they are treating each other...they have their moments but we deal with it {and sometimes in not a proud mommy moment kind of way} and we move on.

We have seen dinosaurs, fossils, grizzly bears, gorillas {favorite by far}, giraffes, zebras, flamingos, cranes, etc. We have been to the famous West Ed*m*nton Mall, seen ginormous planes take off, had a sneak at the Canadian Snow Birds flying in formation, ate room service food for the last two nights, watched Dad play slo pitch and played with our friends.

Let's not forget the hotel swimming pools!!!!!! My children are little fish. The five year olds are now diving under the water lifejacket free and sometimes even water wing free. My two year old thinks he is five and refuses to wear his life jacket. He must however wear a full diving face mask which in turn has everybody in the pool area adoring him because he looks so ridiculous and has no fear to jump into Dad's arms in the deep water. The eight year old has always been a good swimmer with no fear of water. He has been great helping out with the younger kids.

Yesterday the men left the women at the hotel due to an early morning game. I have to admit I was nervous on how I would deal with the kids. But the four wives got together we took the kids to eat, somehow had enough vehicles to get everyone to the ball park. The situation was not ideal, muddy wet grounds etc. but everyone made the best of it and in the end it was quite an enjoyable day.

I will say I am very happy we held off on vacations such as this until now. The kids seem to be really enjoying it all and besides the over-tired-junk-food-hyperness and sometimes bad attitude we encounter, I think we are making some great memories together.

I know I enjoy seeing the joy on their faces.

That being said I am not ready to tackle Disn*ey Land or anything like it just yet!

Wordless Wednesday - Peace Out!

2011-07-27T08:46:00.000-06:00

Before she jumps she says "Peace Out"!

Not sure where she got that from but it was cute.

For more Wordless Wednesday check out 5 Minutes for Mom.

Taking It All In - Loon Edition

2011-07-25T08:21:00.002-06:00

One of my favorite things about the Lake is seeing and hearing the Loons.

This year we were lucky to have a Mama Loon and eight babies living in our marina. The kids would watch the babies dive down and count as they go one by one then count them when they come back up.

During a preschool year end trip, my five year olds discovered that a loon can swim underwater for almost a minute and can dive up to 80 m. The tour guide gave the students {and parents} a visual. Loons are amazing birds. We recently saw a male loon and I was impressed with their size and beauty.

Mama thinks I am the P**aparazzi!

Like anything in this world we take many things forgranted. Until I saw the baby loons swimming around this summer I had realized how I miss all those loon calls, especially in the evening sitting around the campfire. The call of the loon is beautiful!

If you are interested on hearing a loons call watch the video below. The video is not set in Canada but the calls sound the same to me!

".....this is one of the characteristic evocutive sounds you are going to hear from that area. Something that will stick with you for the rest of your life." -Greg Budney

"It justs puncuates the fall of night. And really sets the mood for what follows, the solitude, the peacefullness." - Greg Budney

Quotable Monday's - Adventure

2011-07-25T07:22:00.002-06:00

Adventure isn't hanging on a rope off the side of a mountain.

Adventure is an attitude
that we must apply to the day to day obstacles of life

.... Facing new challenges, seizing new opportunities,

Testing our resources against the unknown and in the process,

Discovering our own unique potential.

-John Amatt, Everest Expedition Leader, author.

And The Days Go By...

2011-07-22T08:56:00.000-06:00

Oh man, where do I begin?
How about the fact that I am super proud that I have been keeping the laundry room floor clean!

I am totally serious!!!! I am very proud of the fact that I have kept up with my laundry while bouncing from home to lake and back again. This is a miracle in itself .

The days have been flying by. Lake days, playdates, library, board games, coloring, barbie playing, weeding the garden, snake wrangling and trips to the pool. I was so happy for a cooler temperature today with rain just so I could stay inside and get some housework done.

And we are leaving again soon for our first out of province trip with our children in tow.

It may not be D*sneyland but let me tell you these kids are excited to head to some major attractions.

On top of all the physical busyness I sense so much changing within me. I know change to my daily routine is coming and I am finally okay with that. When I first began thinking of some "norms" not being part of my life I was sad then angry and now I see glimpses of why. Like anything when we have answers it is so much easier to move on.

I see my kids changing too. My 8 year old is FaNtAsTiC this year. He is keeping busy, reading books, quadding, shooting his pellet gun and overall fun to be with. A long haul from where he was last year..... attitude wise. To be honest he may be thinking the same thing of me!

I am encouraging my 5 year olds to be 5 year olds.....no whining like a baby and teaching them they have the ability to use their legs, get up and take their dishes to the counter or maybe even get their own snack. It's my fault they "think" they are unable to do these simple tasks but I shall fix it before they head to Kindergarten in a month. Otherwise these two are eager to head to school. Sam is excited for recess, Sasha is excited to bring home library books.
Owen is not looking forward to school but for some reason he tends to pop in and out of french conversation with his Dad without even noticing he does it. **smiles**

I am lacking in the exercise department. I have yet to workout more than once a week in the last month. We keep busy at the lake walking and riding bikes but it's not the same as a sweat-pouring-down-your-face Jillian workout. I'm not beating myself up over it but you'd think I'd cut back on the food intake then....sigh.

Hunting season is just around the corner as well. I have come a looonnngg way as a hunting widow. The first few years I'd get angry my husband went out and left me at home with our small children. Then I realized he needed this as much as I need an hour away from everyone. We have the same need for some alone time, it's just different and that is okay. This year I will say I am more jealous that I can't go with him. Maybe next year when the kids are older and we can split them up between Aunts and Uncles for sleepovers.
I am super excited to go on this road trip. Last week the thought of spending six nights in hotel rooms would make my head spin. This week I see a total different perspective and with lots of prep research on things to do it's all working out for the good.

I hope your families summer holidays are going well too.

Wordless Wednesday - Pelican Island

2011-07-20T09:19:00.000-06:00

Linking up with 5 Minutes for Mom.

Quotable Mondays

2011-07-18T08:11:00.000-06:00

Perhaps the truth depends on a walk around the lake.

~Wallace Stevens

Quoteable Mondays

2011-07-11T07:44:00.000-06:00

The real distinction is between

those who adapt their purposes to reality and

those who seek to mold reality in the light of their purposes.

-Henry Kissinger

Waiting on Life Changes

2011-07-09T08:33:00.000-06:00

We are ending the second full week of summer holidays and I am exhausted. We have yet to attend any summer camps, swimming lessons or even a day trips somewhere so I have no idea why I feel so physically drained. I thrive on routine and I guess I have yet to find one with all the kids home.

My mind is busy with future plans as well. I wish I was the kind of person that could just sit back and just let things come my way. I am far from relaxed. This coming school year I will have three children in school, the twins attending full days two to three days a week. My youngest will also attend preschool a couple days a week and a glimpse of what Motherhood without children tailing along all the time is in sight.

It scares me a little and in some ways I'm excited.

I am eager to figure out what my future holds yet I know I should take the "wait and see" approach. With the youngest in preschool this will allow me to help out in the classrooms of the older three. The Kindergarten classroom invites parents to help out. I never had the chance to do this with my oldest son because of my husband attending Police College and having two 3 year olds and a newborn at home. Even if I had a sitter I do not think I could have been clear headed enough to help out because I have to admit... I was tired...mentally and physically during those months.

I know changes are going to happen. I guess I just want to be prepared. I scanned a extension course catalog from a post secondary school lastnight. I guess I'm waiting to see what I want to be when I grow up...yet I feel like I am where I want to be ....a Mother... a full time Mom.

What scares me is what about the hours when the kids are not here. Soon they will all be attending school full time. Should I work? What about summer holidays? I want to be there for the summer holidays. I'm sure lots of parents want to spend more time with their kids. Am I just being unrealistic thinking I can find work and still be here when my kids are home?

Oh so many questions I have that I know can not be answered until the time is here.

So for now I will not be looking into any educational upgrades. For now I am Mom, full time.... here, not always loving it but here. I am very fortunate that we can have me at home right now. I know at times I take that forgranted but today I feel very blessed. I'm here... drinking coffee, folding laundry doing all those other mundane tasks and watching my sleepy head kids come down the stairs to hug me this morning.

Wordless Wednesday A Little Boy and His Bow

2011-07-06T07:00:00.000-06:00

Quoteable Mondays

2011-07-04T07:28:00.000-06:00

You were born an original.

Don't die a copy.

~John Mason

Happy Canada Day

2011-07-01T06:44:00.000-06:00

Have a great day celebrating Canada!