Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Monday, August 29, 2011
Quoteable Mondays - Normal
My theory is that the hardest work anyone does in life
is to appear normal.
~From the movie Ed TV
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Decisions!
I have been having these thoughts lately....they just randomly pop up in my head.
Thoughts of the future. I have always lived in the here and now because I am way too busy to think about what may be. Not sure where all this is coming from. My oldest will be turning nine in a few months. He is going to be a massive man one day...like his Father. I'm slightly terrified when he hits teenage years.....we may have to hire help just for grocery shopping.
Along with future thoughts of my children come ideas of what my life will look like. I keep thinking I will go back to work as soon as I can. Something part time, possibly try to get into the school system so I can be home in the summer with the kids.
Then.... reality will strike and I think of the activities, after school sports and programs that my children will probably be involved in and I wonder how will I do it all.
To all you working Mom's....I admire you.
So we go back and forth on if I should get a part time job to help out with the monthly income. My husband supports whatever decision I pursue but he also will put in his thoughts. I wrestled with a position that is open right now, a perfect job with hours and such. Should I apply?
After much debate we decided this year was not the time for it. .
But....even after the decision was made I wrestled with the thoughts again. I am reading Lysa Terkeurst's book "Am I Messing Up My Kids?" and something she wrote made me realize I am making the right decision to stay home this next year and make my family the number one priority.
I am blessed that I do not have to work and we can live without a major financial constraint so for this year we will continue with Mom at home.
I can serve my family with a happy heart. I can feel joy getting that cup of juice, defusing an argument {I need some work on finding the joy in that} and spending much time in the truck driving here and there to activities.
Are there days I want out of here....OH YES! Are there days I would rather be in an office of adult conversation....OH YES! But my place is here right now. I am starting to realize how important this time is.
{Please know that I am not in anyway stating that Moms should not work. I do not feel that way at all!! This post was about my family and what is best for us. I believe working Moms can serve their families with a happy heart too :)}
**POOF**
"One day my sons will bring home a girl they want us to meet."
**POOF**
"This will be the last time I shop at this store for my oldest son...next year these clothes will be too babyish for him."
**POOF**
"How will I ever keep food in this house when these boys are all teenagers?"
Thoughts of the future. I have always lived in the here and now because I am way too busy to think about what may be. Not sure where all this is coming from. My oldest will be turning nine in a few months. He is going to be a massive man one day...like his Father. I'm slightly terrified when he hits teenage years.....we may have to hire help just for grocery shopping.
Along with future thoughts of my children come ideas of what my life will look like. I keep thinking I will go back to work as soon as I can. Something part time, possibly try to get into the school system so I can be home in the summer with the kids.
Then.... reality will strike and I think of the activities, after school sports and programs that my children will probably be involved in and I wonder how will I do it all.
To all you working Mom's....I admire you.
So we go back and forth on if I should get a part time job to help out with the monthly income. My husband supports whatever decision I pursue but he also will put in his thoughts. I wrestled with a position that is open right now, a perfect job with hours and such. Should I apply?
After much debate we decided this year was not the time for it. .
But....even after the decision was made I wrestled with the thoughts again. I am reading Lysa Terkeurst's book "Am I Messing Up My Kids?" and something she wrote made me realize I am making the right decision to stay home this next year and make my family the number one priority.
"I am convinced there is no greater way to model for our kids the heart of God than to serve our families with a happy heart."
I am blessed that I do not have to work and we can live without a major financial constraint so for this year we will continue with Mom at home.
I can serve my family with a happy heart. I can feel joy getting that cup of juice, defusing an argument {I need some work on finding the joy in that} and spending much time in the truck driving here and there to activities.
Are there days I want out of here....OH YES! Are there days I would rather be in an office of adult conversation....OH YES! But my place is here right now. I am starting to realize how important this time is.
I need to be here right now in the thick of raising little people.
Not just for their development but for mine.
{Please know that I am not in anyway stating that Moms should not work. I do not feel that way at all!! This post was about my family and what is best for us. I believe working Moms can serve their families with a happy heart too :)}
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Yesterday's quote....simple but so true. I never believed those that said life just gets better as you receive wisdom. I knew life experience would change me. Life experience such as travelling or trauma, missions or marriage, or the many other "big" things that happen to people. I never thought life experience from just living could create wisdom, spiritual growth and so much more.
I know people who are mean, just plain old mean. These people want things their way and if you cannot provide this to them then you are not worthy to be on the same patch of dirt they are standing upon. They can be fake, dishonest, manipulative and have values that are shallow.
This is all from my point of view of course. From their point of view I am scum so I guess we can call it even.
My point is we all know people like this, mean people.
Yesterday's quote talks to all of us. It does take courage to change. View the world differently. Try a little harder, come out of our shell.
I feel like I have been working on this specific task a VERY long time. In my thirties, since becoming a mother I have realized that this change within me cannot be for the happiness of others...but for myself and that it will continue for the rest of my life.
I strive for good, I fail alot but I am willing to keep trying.
I also love these changes that keep happening within me.
It would be so much easier to just keep disliking these people that are mean. The hard part is seeing through all of that. I waiver, go back and forth, somedays I cannot control how angry I am at them. I wonder if there way is right and I'm just a sucker.
I don't think I am wrong. I think striving to be generous, empathetic, kind, respectful is the change I want and what I want my children to learn. The hard part......modeling the behaviour even when emotionally you are not feeling generous, empathetic or kind.
Dang emotions...ugh.
I know people who are mean, just plain old mean. These people want things their way and if you cannot provide this to them then you are not worthy to be on the same patch of dirt they are standing upon. They can be fake, dishonest, manipulative and have values that are shallow.
This is all from my point of view of course. From their point of view I am scum so I guess we can call it even.
My point is we all know people like this, mean people.
Yesterday's quote talks to all of us. It does take courage to change. View the world differently. Try a little harder, come out of our shell.
I feel like I have been working on this specific task a VERY long time. In my thirties, since becoming a mother I have realized that this change within me cannot be for the happiness of others...but for myself and that it will continue for the rest of my life.
I strive for good, I fail alot but I am willing to keep trying.
I also love these changes that keep happening within me.
It would be so much easier to just keep disliking these people that are mean. The hard part is seeing through all of that. I waiver, go back and forth, somedays I cannot control how angry I am at them. I wonder if there way is right and I'm just a sucker.
I don't think I am wrong. I think striving to be generous, empathetic, kind, respectful is the change I want and what I want my children to learn. The hard part......modeling the behaviour even when emotionally you are not feeling generous, empathetic or kind.
Dang emotions...ugh.
Monday, August 22, 2011
Quotable Monday's - Growing Up
It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.
~e.e. cummings
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Mish Mash #3
* Day four of my diet and I KNOW for a fact I am planning on falling off the wagon for a few hours today {movie popcorn and pop}.
**Day four and I have lost 4lbs.....the most noticeable....the puffiness in the baby bulge on PMS week is not present, I am enjoying this.
***I now believe and understand how and why certain food and POP (my beloved Co*Ca Co*la) makes you puffy. This realization however will not deter me from enjoying a cup today. I shall deal with the consequence.
****The above statements have changed my perspective on food which was the intent of this diet/experiment.
*****Off to see "The Help" today with a good friend. We have to drive 3 hours to see it because the movie will not be coming to our somewhat busy city. But we are not bitter...we are set free for a few hours child free. What is there to be bitter about?
******Took the kids for a walk yesterday. It is 1 mile to the farm where my Granny lives. They enjoyed picking flowers, sighting snakes and arguing....yes just like they would if we stayed home...sigh...
I made them pose for this!!!
*******Trying to overcome some serious Mommy guilt. Booked a weekend at a friend's house. She lives 4 hours away. She has a very comfy futon that only comes with a cat instead of a husband and two children. This means I have lots of room to stretch out and possibly....POSSIBLY...get some sleep without being awakened by tiny feet hitting my nose. I aim to scrapbook my youngest's baby book while I am there, enjoy some good conversation and REST my little brain.
*********Encouraged I have not had a carbohydrate in four days! Amazed at what I am doing. I have not been on a diet for many many years. Love the way I feel too, energized!!!!
**********Sam just asked me if we could eat skunk. My answer was no but feel free to chime in on this one.
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Monday, August 15, 2011
Thursday, August 11, 2011
To Be Or Not To Be….
....a big mean strict overbearing parent that is.
I am confused on many parenting “rules”. You need to decide so many guidelines to live by. There needs to be some sort of regulations set in place or else no one is happy {or develops} because chaos ensues…but…do you go as far as timing the kids for each specific task or do you let many things slide because they are kids?
I just laid down with my two year old so he would have a nap. He is the only child home with me at the moment so I took the opportunity to lie with him in my bed. This is not a norm for us. He is really good at falling asleep in his own bed for naps {bedtime is another story}.
Today I wanted to cuddle and listen to his soft breathing and we had some diaper leakage lastnight so his bed is not made and the blankets are still in the laundry..not done…yet...blah blah blah.
As I lay there I started to think how much is too much regarding strictness?
Where do we draw the line on how far we can let our kids be kids?
Reality is they are children and should not be forced to maintain some kind of ridiculous regime like adults have too in the real world.
Do I lack as a parent because I let my kids crawl into me bed for an afternoon nap? I consider that a treat for him. The safety and security he feels probably will make him feel more loved than if I had shoved him in his bed crying and wailing because he senses the house is “different” without his siblingsfighting and yelling laughing and enjoying themselves.
Do I develop strict guidelines on how much TV watching , laziness, and sleeping in my children do during the summer? Or do I let them have this relaxation time because as an adult I sure as heck wish I’d relax a bit.
Society today is run as fast as you can, go as far as you can go, and do as much as you can do all in the shortest amount of time. Do I really want my kids feeling that pressure right now? Or do I let them watch 2 hours of TV instead of 30 minutes.
The same goes for housework. I live in my house. My family lives in this house. Let me say it again….we live in the house. Therefore, should it not look lived in?
Why do the floors always need to be shining with no footprints on them? Why do the toilets always have to be without that drip on the seat? Why does the laundry room need to look empty? Will a house that looks like it came out of a magazine and the stress on the Mother that has to keep it that way really make my kids the people they need to be in this world?
I truly believe we need to give our children guidelines, chores, and responsibility. As a parent to four wild children I will admit I love their craziness... at times. The mounds of paper they go through expressing the creativity, the disorganization of the dressup clothes, the odd things they play with instead of their toys they HAD to have for birthday and Christmas presents.
But…sometimes I wonder, should I be tougher? Should I draw the line?
I’m sure there are specific moments we need to be more a dictator than a diplomat. Sometimes the finger needs to point and sometimes we just need to pat them on the back.
I also really believe there are times when we need to fulfill the whim. Just like Michelle from The Space Between Raindrops wrote about here.
We need to stop being so darn busy and enjoy some moments with our families. Today I began with that cuddle and many thoughts on what I'm going to let go and what I'm going to stand strong on for my kids.
I am confused on many parenting “rules”. You need to decide so many guidelines to live by. There needs to be some sort of regulations set in place or else no one is happy {or develops} because chaos ensues…but…do you go as far as timing the kids for each specific task or do you let many things slide because they are kids?
This is where I am confused and searching for my own way.
I just laid down with my two year old so he would have a nap. He is the only child home with me at the moment so I took the opportunity to lie with him in my bed. This is not a norm for us. He is really good at falling asleep in his own bed for naps {bedtime is another story}.
Today I wanted to cuddle and listen to his soft breathing and we had some diaper leakage lastnight so his bed is not made and the blankets are still in the laundry..not done…yet...blah blah blah.
As I lay there I started to think how much is too much regarding strictness?
Where do we draw the line on how far we can let our kids be kids?
Reality is they are children and should not be forced to maintain some kind of ridiculous regime like adults have too in the real world.
Do I lack as a parent because I let my kids crawl into me bed for an afternoon nap? I consider that a treat for him. The safety and security he feels probably will make him feel more loved than if I had shoved him in his bed crying and wailing because he senses the house is “different” without his siblings
Do I develop strict guidelines on how much TV watching , laziness, and sleeping in my children do during the summer? Or do I let them have this relaxation time because as an adult I sure as heck wish I’d relax a bit.
Society today is run as fast as you can, go as far as you can go, and do as much as you can do all in the shortest amount of time. Do I really want my kids feeling that pressure right now? Or do I let them watch 2 hours of TV instead of 30 minutes.
The same goes for housework. I live in my house. My family lives in this house. Let me say it again….we live in the house. Therefore, should it not look lived in?
Why do the floors always need to be shining with no footprints on them? Why do the toilets always have to be without that drip on the seat? Why does the laundry room need to look empty? Will a house that looks like it came out of a magazine and the stress on the Mother that has to keep it that way really make my kids the people they need to be in this world?
I truly believe we need to give our children guidelines, chores, and responsibility. As a parent to four wild children I will admit I love their craziness... at times. The mounds of paper they go through expressing the creativity, the disorganization of the dressup clothes, the odd things they play with instead of their toys they HAD to have for birthday and Christmas presents.
But…sometimes I wonder, should I be tougher? Should I draw the line?
I’m sure there are specific moments we need to be more a dictator than a diplomat. Sometimes the finger needs to point and sometimes we just need to pat them on the back.
I also really believe there are times when we need to fulfill the whim. Just like Michelle from The Space Between Raindrops wrote about here.
We need to stop being so darn busy and enjoy some moments with our families. Today I began with that cuddle and many thoughts on what I'm going to let go and what I'm going to stand strong on for my kids.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Monday, August 8, 2011
Quotable Monday's - A Perfect World
Each day, awakening, are we asked to paint the sky blue?
Need we coax the sun to rise or flowers to bloom?
Need we teach birds to sing, or children to laugh, or lovers to kiss?
No, though we think the world imperfect,
it surrounds us each day with its perfections.
We are asked only to appreciate them,
and to show appreciation by living in peaceful harmony amidst them.
The Creator does not ask that we create a perfect world;
He asks that we celebrate it.
~Robert Brault
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Overcoming The Ugly
Why do I tend to complicate things?
I am not sure if I have some existing mental condition or if it is the ways of a woman but I can cause great difficulties with any situation. Most of the time these complicated problems arise only in the inner parts of my brain but let me tell you they make the outside world quite hard to deal with.
I have a few of these situations happening right now.....churning in my mind...waiting to blow. I go over things repeatedly to justify the emotions that I am feeling. A huge problem happens when the dialogue happening within spills out of my mouth. I tend to think some friends and my husband want to shut me down after going over my difficult situation for the umpteenth time. {For those of you that do listen to my repetitive self therapy I thank you for sticking it out and I will try not to do it anymore **smiles**}
And really how diffcult is my life...really? Food on the table, clothes on my back, healthy family who loves me even in my ugliness.
This whole process I go through when life gets complicated makes me feel like I am weak. There are plenty of times I feel strong, backed by my beliefs in a God that will always guide me. And there are times like this when I fall prey to lies and deceit. I hear in my head the awful things that people really think of me.
I know you all have heard that awful voice too.
I am aware of that voice. I am aware it's not true. But where do you go from there. The battle is my problem. How do you win over it without hurting anyone else or yourself?
My usual is waiting it hiding out till the uncomfortable situation or event is over then I get on with my life and try to pretend the feelings never happened.
How do you deal with negative self talk? How do you overcome that feeling of unworthy when it's put there by a past hurt in which someone else had a hand in it. I now realize the more I talk my self down my mouth starts in on others!
Ugh, I sound like such a wuss and I should know the answer but I'm weak right now. I look in the mirror and see somebody overweight, lazy, maybe not the best parent they need to be right now.
I am not looking for flattery, I am looking for an answer to see past those ugly words.
On our road trip I found these flowers {black eyed susan's I believe but I'm sure someone will correct me if I'm wrong}.
Are they not pretty along side the paved road?
What an odd place to be beautiful........
Friday, August 5, 2011
Mish Mash #2
* my kids apparently miss the lake life, the sofa is the pontoon boat, the carpet is the water, huge pillows are fish.
**I am super lazy yet my mind is racing.
***I need a Mom holiday, desperately need some time away to regroup the brain cells. I love my children and husband but I can feel any creative energy is gone. Being creative makes me happy.
**** I NEED to get back to exercising. I can almost feel Jillian giving me a dirty look even though she has no idea I exist on this world. My mental status is also paying for the laziness.
***** Why oh why did I ever join pinterest???????????? I heart this website. Right now it is the only thing making me feel good but at the same time I feel guilty for wasting so much time. Sigh....
****** We are making homemade bread today to go with our homemade jelly. I will only eat one bun, I will only eat one bun...repeat, repeat, repeat.....
******* That's IT!!!! I need to look at the bright side....I have a home, food, healthy family and gorgeous sunshine. Today I will forget garter snakes and have a picnic outside with my beautiful kids.
******** I WILL get out of this yuckiness.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Wordless Wednesday - You Lookin' At Me?
We found out after viewing the Gorillas that you should not try to make eye contact with them if you wan them to notice you. Apparently if you look them straight in the eye they will not look back. A direct stare means you want to be their girlfriend or you are looking for a fight.
WHOOPS!
Linking up with 5 Minutes For Mom and Wordless Wednesday.
Monday, August 1, 2011
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