Number one....Why must people "tease" me of having four children. I do not understand it. Usually these comments happen when I am chasing the youngest or diffusing a battle with the twins. A fellow parent will wink and say "Why not try for one more." one lady leaned over to her husband after witnessing me have an ugly moment and said "..and that is why I am glad we only had two kids." That last comment stung for awhile.
Most of the time these comments come from parents who have three children and are older than my own. Do they simple not remember those days of running after toddlers and preschoolers sick of sitting at their brothers hockey games or were their parenting skills just superior to my own?
These are the days I wish my Mom was here. She would have been right beside me at those rinks chasing after the kids alongside me....OR keeping them at her house, baking cookies or coloring or just sitting with them watching TV. She also would have been encouraging me to forget these comments and assuring me I am a good parent.
When I feel anger and hurt from these comments I try to remember that and not "go there" with others. We have no idea what people are battling in their lives.
Number two....I really need to stop trying to defend my reasons for sending my youngest to preschool at the age of three. I sent all the kids at three years of age but I will admit Gage does seem immature compared to my other children. I think he is right up there with development but his speech is lacking. His vocabulary is growing everyday and now is speaking in sentences but we were worried for awhile.
I think if you can afford preschool and are willing to make the effort to get them there then why not? I see so many good things from my children attending. Most of all the structure they receive, how to follow instructions, their creativity explodes {or so in my children}. I can't say enough good things about it. They also get alot of practice following instructions in French. He attends a total of 5 hours a week.
I have been receiving much flack about this from friends and those who just like to comment on everything. One lady gasped as if I had sent him off to boarding school.
People {meaning those that think I am sending him to boarding school, not my kind readers}...listen up....I feel the preschool I send my child to will only benefit him. Yes, I am a stay at home Mom but my child needs a break from me as much as I need a break from him. I do not have a Mother to deposit him off to whenever I feel like or when I need to get something done. I parent my children 24/7 and I am only human.
The teachers at the preschool compliment each other so wonderfully I cannot express how much I enjoy watching them. The children adore them and when the time comes my child has a fit and states he will not attend then I will deal with it.
Until them I do hope I can bare more comments with a smile and a nod and stuff the anger back down. This is my blog and I can cry if I want to so I am.
Thanks a bunch for reading.
8 comments:
Very well said, Bonnie! ;-) I sent Emily to preschool when she was 2 1/2! And Alex didn't begin talking until he started preschool when he was 3. I think "to each his own" and sounds like you are doing wonderfully! I think even if you have just one child, there are going to be struggles and days of chasing them around in frustration! People who says those things are just seeing how they look themselves! I'm sure they have absolutely had many days like that! I know I have! ;-) Keep doing what you're doing! And I don't have someone to just drop my kids off either, we're usually all there, some days are just better than others ;-) Take care Bonnie! I like your attitude!
{I meant say, "people who say those things are just NOT seeing how they look themselves!} ;-)
I completely understand what you are saying!! I have the same feelings when people say the same things to me about having 4, soon to be 5.
People are rude and ridiculous and give their opinions about things that no one asked to hear. I get just as fed up and tired of it. I also, let it eat at me and get me down.
I try to tell myself that these people have insecurity about their own choices and want other people to approve their way of doing things so they have to defend it ALL the time, even if that is by being inconsiderate.
I am trying to learn when to tolerate these remarks and when to speak up for myself. I'm not a naturally outspoken person so it's hard, but I realize not saying anything isn't helping anyone.
Hang in there friend, if you find any great secret to telling people off let me know. :) Thought of you yesterday, we were learning about Canada, the difference between a province and a territory.
The world is full of judgemental people and they are the one's most miserable with their lives. Just smile and nod...their opinions do not matter. You need to go to your happy place where you are content with what you are doing and how you are raising your kids and just blow off the rest of the world. They just don't matter.
And there is nothing wrong with preschool....or no preschool. Every kid is different.
You are doing a wonderful job..don't worry about everyone else. We sent Drake to preschool at 3..2 weeks after he turned 3 to be exact.. because everyone we knew sent them at 3.. he was not ready but he made it, had fun and met kids he still knows to this day. Keep up what you're doing and vent whenever you want.
Me VERY least favorite comments about having four were 1: You're pregnant again?!?! Don't you know what causes that YET?!" and 2. Seeing my (very rambunctious) 2 year old trying to climb over a barrier meant to protect her from a two story fall, the man sitting beside me saying " Hey, no problem if she dies, right. I mean you have like 10 more anyway". I think most often people are just thoughtless and think they are being funny without thinking it through first.
All parents have to face judgement on their decisions, and Bonnie, you are a great mom! I don't have a Grandma's house nearby either, and I understand your feelings of missing out on that ( in a way,but I totally understand that your situation is different than mine). On the other side of the coin, not sending my children to school this year, I also feel stigma from some of the moms. It may be my imagination, but I feel as if they think " What, MY school isn't good enough for your kid or what?". Although no one has come right out and said it to my face, the looks are out there.( and the decision is not at all to do with being against the school)
I think we are all trying to do what we think is best for our individual children, our families as a whole, and ourselves as moms. I wish everyone could take a second to realize that and stop criticizing each other!
On a funny note, although I never had the guts to actually say this, my husband said that in my imagination, I should answer people back with something like " Well, my husband is so sexy I just can't help myself." I never said it, but it always made me smirk to myself and dissipate my frustration in the moment.
Oh, do I understand! And I appreciate and agree with everyone's comments as well...and I will admit...some days, even I think I've had too many children for me to handle....sigh.... :( You're wonderful, Bonnie. Love ya! :)
Hey Bonnie I too send my kids at 3..as the school is AWESOME and i love the socializing....
Sam
Post a Comment