Overcoming The Ugly

Why do I tend to complicate things?

I am not sure if I have some existing mental condition or if it is the ways of a woman but I can cause great difficulties with any situation.  Most of the time these complicated problems arise only in the inner parts of my brain but let me tell you they make the outside world quite hard to deal with.

I have a few of these situations happening right now.....churning in my mind...waiting to blow.  I go over things repeatedly to justify the emotions that I am feeling.  A huge problem happens when the dialogue happening within spills out of my mouth.  I tend to think some friends and my husband want to shut me down after going over my difficult situation for the umpteenth time.  {For those of you that do listen to my repetitive self therapy I thank you for sticking it out and I will try not to do it anymore **smiles**}

And really how diffcult is my life...really?  Food on the table, clothes on my back, healthy family who loves me even in my ugliness.

This whole process I go through when life gets complicated makes me feel like I am weak.  There are plenty of times I feel strong, backed by my beliefs in a God that will always guide me.  And there are times like this when I fall prey to lies and deceit.  I hear in my head the awful things that people really think of me. 

I know you all have heard that awful voice too.

I am aware of that voice.  I am aware it's not true. But where do you go from there.  The battle is my problem.  How do you win over it without hurting anyone else or yourself?

My usual is waiting it  hiding out till the uncomfortable situation or event is over then I get on with my life and try to pretend the feelings never happened.

How do you deal with negative self talk? How do you overcome that feeling of unworthy when it's put there by a past hurt in which someone else had a hand in it.  I now realize the more I talk my self down my mouth starts in on others!

Ugh, I sound like such a wuss and I should know the answer but I'm weak right now.  I look in the mirror and see somebody overweight, lazy, maybe not the best parent they need to be right now.

I am not looking for flattery, I am looking for an answer to see past those ugly words.

On our road trip I found these flowers {black eyed susan's I believe but I'm sure someone will correct me if I'm wrong}.

Are they not pretty along side the paved road? 

What an odd place to be beautiful........