To Be Or Not To Be….

....a big mean strict overbearing parent that is.

I am confused on many parenting “rules”.  You need to decide so many guidelines to live by.  There needs to be some sort of regulations set in place or else no one is happy {or develops} because chaos ensues…but…do you go as far as timing the kids for each specific task or do you let many things slide because they are kids?

This is where I am confused and searching for my own way.

I just laid down with my two year old so he would have a nap.  He is the only child home with me at the moment so I took the opportunity to lie with him in my bed.  This is not a norm for us.  He is really good at falling asleep in his own bed for naps {bedtime is another story}. 

Today I wanted to cuddle and listen to his soft breathing and we had some diaper leakage lastnight so his bed is not made and the blankets are still in the laundry..not done…yet...blah blah blah.

As I lay there I started to think how much is too much regarding strictness? 

Where do we draw the line on how far we can let our kids be kids?

Reality is they are children and should not be forced to maintain some kind of ridiculous regime like adults have too in the real world.

Do I lack as a parent because I let my kids crawl into me bed for an afternoon nap?  I consider that a treat for him.  The safety and security he feels probably will make him feel more loved than if I had shoved him in his bed crying and wailing because he senses the house is “different” without his siblings fighting and yelling laughing and enjoying themselves.

Do I develop strict guidelines on how much TV watching , laziness, and sleeping in my children do during the summer?  Or do I let them have this relaxation time because as an adult I sure as heck wish I’d relax a bit.

Society today is run as fast as you can, go as far as you can go, and do as much as you can do all in the shortest amount of time.  Do I really want my kids feeling that pressure right now?  Or do I let them watch 2 hours of TV instead of 30 minutes.

The same goes for housework.  I live in my house.  My family lives in this house.  Let me say it again….we live in the house.  Therefore, should it not look lived in?

Why do the floors always need to be shining with no footprints on them?  Why do the toilets always have to be without that drip on the seat?  Why does the laundry room need to look empty?  Will a house that looks like it came out of a magazine and the stress on the Mother that has to keep it that way really make my kids the people they need to be in this world?

I truly believe we need to give our children guidelines, chores, and responsibility.   As a parent to four wild children I will admit I love their craziness... at times.  The mounds of paper they go through expressing the creativity, the disorganization of the dressup clothes, the odd things they play with instead of their toys they HAD to have for birthday and Christmas presents. 

But…sometimes I wonder, should I be tougher?  Should I draw the line?

I’m sure there are specific moments we need to be more a dictator than a diplomat.  Sometimes the finger needs to point and sometimes we just need to pat them on the back.

I also really believe there are times when we need to fulfill the whim.  Just like Michelle from  The Space Between Raindrops wrote about here.

We need to stop being so darn busy and enjoy some moments with our families.  Today I began with that cuddle and many thoughts on what I'm going to let go and what I'm going to stand strong on for my kids.