Bring on 2011!

This is the second time in my life that New Year's Eve has had such an impact on my emotional state.  In 2002 I said "Good bye" to my Mother as we laid her to rest in September and said "Hello" to my first child in December.  I had many many many moments of anger, grief, joy, and love on New Year's Eve of 2002.  Since then I have yet to feel this way at the end of a year.

Until now.

I feel like 2010 was a huge turning point for me in the way I process things.   My anger has tamed, my love increased.

I am very excited for 2011.  I will soon be celebrating the twins 5th birthday.  In this new year I will have two 5 year olds, a 3 year old and a 9 year old...WOW...where did the time go?  I will enjoy these new ages of my children.  I truly love seeing them develop and learn.

I know I will never forget this year of my marriage.  The 13th year has proven to be a good one.  Remember when you first met your spouse...those electric feelings?  I got to experience that again after a decade of marriage.  It was very cool.  Maybe it's our brain waves starting to sync or maybe it's the grey hair my husband has aquired, who knows, who cares...I'll take the fireworks anytime.

I did set some goals for myself in 2011, some are minor, other's are major.   I am very blessed in this life.  I want to enjoy every minute, every second.  I want to learn, I want to absorb all that is around me, within me, take the love given to me and give that love right back.

I wish you many happy days and blessings in the coming new year.

Wordless Wednesday - How Lucky We Are

We are so fortunate we have a sliding/snowboarding hill in our backyard.

For more Wordless Wednesday visit

5 Minutes for Mom.

Quotable Monday's

Sometimes things fall apart, so that better things fall together.

-Marilyn Monroe

No More Belly Aching

I felt like I spent the week complaining, whining and crying.

Well the week is over and so is my bout with some WILD PMS.

My husband thanks me for I am sure he was ready to vacate our home for the holidays and leave just me behind.

I have no idea, and I believe none of you out there exactly know what takes over our bodies...scratch that...what takes over our minds when PMS enters our luteal phase.

It's over and just in time for Christmas.  Now I can repent many times over as I feel I need to from the many horrific thoughts and possibly some of them becoming verbal.

I do wish you all a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS and A HAPPY HOLIDAY SEASON.

PMS and Christmas

There is a combination of things that should never go together.

Shrimp and Peanut Butter

Red and Pink

Cheez Wiz and Jam (though I know ppl that eat this).

You get my point and if you don't well pretend you do.

At the moment I am experiencing PMS and Christmas.  It's painful.  I want to crawl into bed and not come out until the rage of hormones has come back down to a normal level.  I cannot seem to cope with the stress of family, the to do list, and the kid's excitement which makes them go slightly bonkers.  I love seeing them excited but times that by four it gets wild and fast.

Since I cannot do that I plan on coping the best way I can.

Chocolate.

Drinks in the evening.

And duct tape over my mouth.

Wordless Wednesday - Christmas Past

Participating at 5 Minutes for Mom in Wordless Wednesday.

My first Christmas as a Mommy, my son was born 8 days before the big day and this is my favorite picture!!

Pepéré whispering to Owen.

Merry Christmas Everyone.

Special Prayer request today for all of the officers of our police service, the Ballantyne Family, and me for I shall be a puddle of tears I am sure.

Quotable Monday's

For to us a child is born,

to us a son is given,

and the government will be on his shoulders.

And he will be called

Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father,

Prince of Peace.

Isaiah 9:6

This Fits Too!

I have neglected laundry for too long.  We have no clean towels and some of us are barely scraping by with clothing.  It's time to roll my sleeves up and get to sorting, folding and putting it away.

Tomorrow that is...

Right now I have MacGyver Season 3 in the DVD player and my knitting ready to go.

Until Sunday...........

This Fits

Seriously I dislike feeling this way during the holiday season.

Today, I am going to change that.

It's all a mind game.

And I am going to win!

What!?

My oldest son will be celebrating his 8th birthday this Thursday.  I decided to take him to the theatre in another city for his gift.  Road trip with just the two of us.  Bonding time for him and I but also time away from the rest of the family which in turn makes him feel special...as it should.

I have friend in this city and was planning on a good but quick visit with her as well.  It has been two years since we got together in person.  I have been waiting on this little road trip for months.

Now I am not sure it will happen.

Thanks to the FREEZING RAIN IN DECEMBER IN SASKATCHEWAN?????  That just doesn't happen very often but of course it is going to happen on the day I have to travel 4 hours.

I am used to snow, I can drive in a snowstorm no problem.  I even know tricks to get unstuck if that would happen but icy road conditions from FREEZING RAIN...yeah not sure if I have done that yet in my 20 years of driving.

I am going to take the wait and see approach.  My husband thinks I'll be fine which in turn makes me worry more.  He is the type of man that looks at the TV show "Survivor" and thinks that might be fun.  The type of man who doesn't worry about a lunch when hunting because you can shoot a porcupine and eat it.  See why I am worried?

I am not a woman of patience so the wait and see approach is painful for me.  I do have distratctions this morning but after that I need to know if I am staying or going.  For now all I can do is pray this rain will not happen or at least not affect road conditions that much and I can get to my destination like planned.  If not then it is time to look at plan B and find out if I can switch my tickets to another city or be reimbursed, which I highly doubt will happen.

And now my rant and pity party is over.

Thank You.

Quotable Monday's

Life is like a beautiful melody,

only the lyrics are messed up.

I Don't Want To Go Back

What do you do with difficult people?

People that think they always know what is right and that you are always wrong.

Even after years of you not saying a word these people still find fault in you.

Do you get to the point where you just give up?

I am so there.

I no longer justify my thoughts or actions, there is no point because I am not important unless I am causing an issue in someone's life.  And the funny thing is I cause the issue without even being around or spoken too.

Interesting.

I know I am not the only one.  I spoke with a good friend today about family and Christmas and tears flowed from my friends eyes.  My friend who is the MOST giving person I have ever met gets the flack from everyone and she takes it.

I wish I could take it and stuff it away some where.  Diffuse the anger before it gets to self pity or worse to the point I want to scratch eyeballs out.

I truly am at a loss and maybe it's just the fact I need to grow some patience while God deals with this broken relationship.  Until then maybe I should take a lesson from my friend and my Lord and just take the blame even though I know the truth.  I am just scared it will take me to a place I do not want to go back too.

Fibers On Friday: Pom Pom

 Linking up with fellow knitter and fellow twin mommy friend, Beth for her Fibers on Friday.

I completed this hat last year but it was too small for my daughter.  So I decided to give it to a friend's daughter.  We had a playdate this morning with them so I decided at the very last second to make a pom pom for the hat.  I have NEVER made a pom pom {nor actually knitted anything else but hats and wonky dishcloths} so you can understand my excitement when the pom pom came out looking like this.....

I also finished the topper for the hat I completed last week as well.

I started another hat with some really YUMMY yarn.  Excited for this one and so is my daughter for the pom pom we will put on the top of the hat.  I am happy to say I am NOT twisting my stitches anymore which makes for faster knitting.

What are you knitting?  I'd love to come visit and check it out.

I'd also like some encouragement and suggestions of what to try next.  Truly I need to get off the hats and try something else.  I'd love to try slippers, not sure if I am brave enough for mitts.  A different hat pattern or scarf would be nice too.

Show me the way experienced knitters because in the new year I am going to try crocheting.

Wordless Wednesday - Hello Froggy

For more Wordless Wednesday visit

5 Minutes For Mom.

Tackle It Tuesday

This weeks tackle was quick and easy.  All it took was wrestling a couple 4 years olds away from papers and papers of their artwork they create on a daily basis.  I love that my kids are creative and often are making things and coloring instead of TV but it can get messy.

As you can see she is not impressed and on guard.

The kids have so many pencils, scissors, glue and glitter glue and no storage for it.  I believe in helping your kids learn how to do things for themselves.  I want them to be able to get what they need when they need it without having a meltdown because I cannot do it for them.

  I had kept a few tin cans for water when they paint but decided to use them differently.

Problem is it doesn't look nice so a little scrapbook paper and this is what you get.

I put the cans with art supplies on top of their craft caddy right by our kitchen table.  We cleaned that out too and reorganized the drawers.

In the end the kids were happy to be able to find everything they need to do their crafts.

 We decorated for Christmas last tackle.  Here is Sam's touch on that.

What are you tackling today?

Head on over to 5 Minutes For Mom and be inspired.

Quotable Monday's

"No life is a waste," the Blue Man said.

"The only time we waste is the time we spend thinking we're alone."

— Mitch Albom

The Messy Parts of Life

These past few months have been glorious in my own life.   My kids are still causing chaos in life but that is what they were put on this earth for.  And I will quote myself "Life does not come packed up in pretty little packages".

I have however met many new friends and have old friends that are in the messy parts of their lives.  I have been in a messy part of my own life for 10 or 11 years, basically much of my married life.  No it wasn't my husband or my marriage causing the mess, it was a combination of many things that led to a slow destruction of me, the real me.

I can't tell you how freeing it is to be me, to have my own voice and to do what feels right even though some may disagree and judge.  It is a pure release of joy.

These new friends are dealing with difficult stuff, things I have never had to go through.  Yet I find myself reaching out to them and recognizing it is a messy part and though they may not see the way out yet, I can see that light at the end of the tunnel for them.  I can see them lighter, happier, and less burdened by the mess.

I am not scared to dig in my heels with them.  I am not scared to hear their stories.  These people have good hearts full of love and working on forgiveness for others and themselves.

I am not perfect, they are not perfect, no one is.  We are not supposed to be nor are we to yearn for perfection in the wrong way but for a heart like the One that loves us.  Perfect love yes, perfection of self, not so much maybe.

So today I am soaking up these good moments I have been having in my own life and using the energy it has given me to help those going through the messy. 

I know what it is like to feel that there is no hope.  When your sitting by your mother's bedside holding her hand and you KNOW she is going to die, it is hard to feel hope.  But when those moments came I'd rub that big ole belly of mine and feel the hope of my baby soon to come.  The baby that would never meet my Mother, his Grandmother, on this earth but who would feel all the time she invested in me through the love I was going to give him all the days of my life.

We all have messes in our lives.  In fact I truly think those messes connect us much more than the good stuff.

Fibers On Friday: Simple Baby Cap #9 (Finally Done, well almost)

Before digging into this post and if you are a FABULOUS knitter please remember I am still a beginner! 

My last Fibers On Friday post was August 13th and this is the same project.  This unfinished hat sat on a shelf in my bedroom for a month {or two} while life had me in it's grip.  But a nice evening with friends who came over to my home to learn/teach how to crochet {or just visit} was the inspiration I needed to get this project finished and move on to something else.

I have to finish the top of the hat like the ones I made below but Sammy is quite happy it is done.  Apparently I twist my stitches and I am starting my next project {a hat for Sasha} in the "proper" way. 

{ack...the twins were 2 yrs old in this picture, they are turning 5 in less than two months}

Wish me luck!

Now go visit my friend Beth and link up if you are a knitter.