Your Gonna Miss This Moment

So I am having trouble this week with my "moment" that I am going to miss. The subject is usually always my kids, with the exception of last week. It has been bitterly cold here so the kids have been inside the house. To be honest I am looking forward to time by myself for a few hours tonight. That being said that might just be what I need to talk about.

Since my husband left for training in January I find I do (in a sense) get more done. A wise friend mentioned her Mother always tells her...

"If you want something done then find someone who is busy."

(not exact quote I am sure but you get the just of it).

That is definitely what is going on with me. I am so incredibly busy with the four children ages 6 and under that if I want to get something done I need to use my time wisely. No one is going to ensure there is food in the fridge for their lunch or if their is diapers for the baby etc. etc. It is my job and since I really do not like to haul four children to the store I have to find the time to do it when I am without one or two of them for a few hours.

I somehow get everyday things done like food prep, laundry, baths, bed, books, etc. and even the odd meal in there for myself and I still find time to....

Make thank you cards for baby gifts that were sent in January...

Make a baby card and prepare two meals for my friend that had a baby.

Burn supper...

Yes this is all one meal.

And sometimes...I even have a few minutes to read...

I gave up getting groceries for the week when my husband is home because it steals time away that I could be with him and the kids. I do truly enjoy spending time as a family, even now when it can be really stressful with the three year olds wanting to do their own thing and the six year old wanting to do his own thing, and of course the baby wanting attention as well. I am sure some of you have been in my shoes or at least close and for those of you that have not...I am happy for you ;).

I do hope that during this "difficult" time of parenting that this habit of using my time wisely sticks. If not this will for sure be one of my moments I will miss because getting things done feels good.

Now go on over and check out Pam's "Your Gonna Miss This" and of course all those that hooked up via Mr. Linky.

Say It Forward-Week 6

5 minutes for Mom has a great weekly carnival going on over at their site.

Every week you can recognize some of your loyal commenter's on your blog. Commenting is nice (especially when your getting a hundred or so hits a day;)).

I have two loyal commenter's that I want to recognize and I hope you all go check out their blogs. The first one is Pam at "Your Gonna Miss This". Pam is a Mom to six and has a strong faith that shows through in her writing. Her testimony got me hooked and I have been a fan ever since. I also participate in her weekly carnival named after her blog where we all share something we will miss as the days go by. Very therapeutic for me! Pam is definitely one of my loyal commenter's and I hope you pop over for a visit.

My other loyal commenter is Heidi over at "Mommy Doesn't Live Here Anymore". Heidi cracks me up!! That's all I really have to say is she really has a humour I enjoy. Go on over and check Heidi out and tell her who sent you!

That's it I hope you all go check out these blogs and hopefully they will become some of your favorites as well.

Thanks Heidi and Pam for being loyal commenter's on my blog don't forget to go get your "Say It Forward" badge and wear it with pride! The high number of page hits a day are nice but it sure is nice to get comments too.

Countdown

39 days done

45

forty-five

Days

till Daddy comes home.

The Plan for Today

Since it's ridiculously cold outside and I have so much to do inside here is the plan for today.....

I am going to let the kids destroy

the house so they play and do not bother me.

That means I will not be yelling at them for the following...

1. Throwing the cushions off the sofa and making a fort.

2. Playing with things that are not "toys", ie cell phones etc.

3. Asking to make a boat out of the two leather sofas in the front room.

4. Yelling at the top of their lungs just because it's fun.

Wish me luck!

Suggestions of Blog Designs

So I am think of taking the splurge and purchasing a custom made blog design....anyone have suggestions of who they really like?

Leave a comment and a link to their work.

Thanks

The Season Of Lent

It's Ash Wednesday today.

Which means it's the season of Lent.

Last year I gave up spending.

Unnecessary spending that is.

Like the kind of spending when you goto Wal Mart and do not really need anything but you buy it anyway. The purpose behind it was to teach myself that I do not need material things. It was to teach me that I only need one thing and we all know what that is.

It worked and I think God put it in my head because of our situation now. Only He knew where our lives would be a year later and the career change has left the bank account a little dry these days but there is no stress because I know it is not a big deal. We just do without.

The year before I gave up gossiping. I'll admit that was hard and I can't say I passed on it but that is not the purpose of Lent...the purpose is to become more like Jesus right? Is this not the time of year we are supposed to come back to Him and regroup, find our way again, reaffirm our commitment?

With each new season I give something up in return for His love, so this year I think I am giving something up that will put me in deeper in my journey of faith. I know it's what has been going on within me for many many months and it's so hard, so very hard to be obedient sometimes.

I am choosing for the next 40 days to be less selfish. I am choosing to give more of myself to my husband and family. I say "choose" because is it not human nature to be selfish? Everyday I will have to make even more choices to not consider myself first.

I already do this as a mother of four and a wife but I want to give more. I want it to become an instant thing that I choose other's over myself all the time.

Don't get me wrong, I am not going to deplete my health or sanity but I think you all know what I mean by this. I want to really concentrate on the "selfish" part of me during lent and see what develops within.

Wordless Wednesday

For more great pics check out some other blogs at 5 minutes for Mom.

Tackle It Tuesday

Seriously...did I really have time to participate?

I did!

Finding the time to post it is another story ;).

But here is my Tackle which I so have been meaning to get to and just kept putting it off.



Our fish tank and fish have been neglected for awhile. I can't tell you the last time I changed the water and it shows. I keep thinking one day I will be having a fishy burial in the bathroom but hey the little suckers just kept living.

This tank was bought for the kids last year and to be honest they cared about it for a day or so. Sammy enjoyed feeding them but hey Mommy forgets to half the time so he really did not get to do that job much before he forgot about the fish.

(By the way my next tackle better be dusting because I had to take three pictures of this tank and table while dusting with my shirt in between....I had no idea that in the picture you could see dust so bad...lol).

So I decided to clean the tank and put it up in the boys room. This sent Sasha into a fit that she wanted a fish in her room. We do have four fish and I had an extra small tank in the storage room so I thought why not?

Here is Sasha's fish "Dolly".

Unfortunately Dolly has since passed due to overfeeding.....sigh.

And here is the tank in the boy's room.

Their fish are Cora (my Mother in Law's name),

Sam and Goldie.

I think Owen names every fish we ever had Goldie. One time he named the snail we got after our neighbor....so funny, but you don't know our neighbor so it may not be that funny to you all.

So there you have it. My tackle for this week is to get my scrapbooking area cleaned up (I know, I know I say it alot but it will come true one day) and to get the kids pictures in their albums instead of the photo boxes. I keep thinking if something happens to me someday my kids will have no pictures in albums because I think I need to figure out which ones I want to scrapbook first before I put the other pictures in albums.

Let's be real, I have little time to scrapbook and that frustrates me so why not feel productive and get the pictures in the photo albums so at least the kids can look at them.

What are you tackling today?

Go on over to 5 minutes for Mom and check out some other Mom's blogs and see what they are getting at this week.

Quotable Monday's

"If ever there is tomorrow

when we're not together...

there is something

you must always remember.

You are braver than you believe,

stronger than you seem,

and smarter than you think.

But the most important thing is,

even if we're apart...

I'll always be with you.”

-Christopher Robin from Winnie The Pooh

Organized and Inspired?

It's 3 a.m. here.

What am I doing?

I just scrapbooked a couple pages and now I am thinking I want to start organizing my scrapbook supplies.

Why at 3 a.m.?

Because I am most inspired at this hour.

Not....it's the darn coffee I drank earlier AND the fact that I truly do want to get my scrapping stuff organized. I am reading an article right now that helps you understand what type of scrapbooker you are and then organize to suit your needs.

The problem is I have done the quiz a couple times now and have come out with different personalities creative approaches. (I totally just learned how to strike out that word).

But I think 3 a.m. is stretching it for his mommy of four and I should head off to bed. For those of you worried about how tired and cranky lazy I'll be tomorrow...NEED not worry because my husband is still home and I can sleep in.

Toodles (see now I am just getting silly).

Your Gonna Miss This Moment

Another week to post those moments that you know your just gonna miss someday. Go on over to Pam's" Blog and join in.

This week I had trouble finding something I was going to miss. It's been a long week without Daddy here. I ended up with the flu on Thursday and let me tell you it was not mnch fun to have the flu and four healthy kids. But I survived that day and that night when my 6 year old was very very ill for HOURS. Might I add that adrenaline is a wonderful thing God created! I think Friday was a blur too but honestly it went by fairly well and Daddy arrived home around 9:30 pm and Mommy was sleeping by 9:32.

Even though it's been a tough week I still think I may miss parts of this. I do not mean I'll miss being on call to my kids 24/7 and never getting a breath, what I mean is I'll miss what I am learning about myself and my marriage during this single parent stint.

As I was driving today I thought to myself "Wow, I have done this for 7 weeks and I am not even completely exhausted yet." I know there was a time when I never thought I could parent more than one child, then two more came at the same time and you know what.... I did it. Then one more child arrived. I can't say I am proud of every moment I have had as a Mother or Wife but I am still here and I think I have done a pretty good job.

Someone reading this may say "What's the big deal of parenting four kids by yourself?" I don't know...maybe it's not. But I don't have a Mom who I can call for help. I have my sister and my Dad that help me out an hour here and there. I have my Mother In Law that was a complete angel when Gage was in the hospital but I don't have my Mom. My Mom would have been at my side as much as I needed her to be during this tough time without my husband. But she isn't here physically but I get strength from her spiritually. I can hear her whispering easier ways to do things, I can see her whispering in Sammy's here to behave, I know she is here with me and that gives me strength because she took care of four of us often without any help as well.

Yes, I will miss what I am learning about my strength in all of this. It does take strength to will yourself out of bed after no sleep because your three year old hates how his pillow is at 3 a.m. It takes strength to listen to the same fight over and over again that your two three year olds are having on a daily basis. It takes strength to be a parent in any way shape or form.

I am also learning how much I appreciate my spouse. We have hit the 11 year mark in our marriage and let's just say after the 10 year mark you need to declutter your relationship sometimes. It is very hard for us to find anytime together the 48 hours he is home but the last couple weeks we have worked together to find that time. Like at the moment I am drinking coffee at 8:00 p.m. because I want to stay awake long enough to have a conversation with my husband. A conversation that will not include hushing a little person every 30 seconds.

I am learning alot about myself during this process. We all know the most growth within us comes in tough times and even though this training my husband is in is going to be for the better in the end, right now it's tough. It's not easy for me, our kids, or my husband but in the end we know it will be a blessing to have security, a schedule and time with the kids that you just won't get back. I am so blessed that my husband realizes that time with the kids and I is so important and not to be taken for granted. I will forever be thankful he made the decision he did to end his career as a business owner and move on to something that was in his heart.

We have 10 or so weeks left of his weekly absence in our lives. The first couple months have flown by and I hope the last couple will too. I can't wait to have Daddy home again and get into a routine with his new job. I have no idea what I will do with the "free" time that will appear but I plan on using the first few days to sleep and take a trip with my good friend to a spa. After that...it's time for life to get going once again and find our groove with Daddy as a shift worker.

I will miss this learning but hope it's a course I don't have to repeat any time soon.

What a Ridiculous Night

Yesterday I spent most of the day lying on my sofa whenever the baby was sleeping. I tried "shooing" the other children off to play but since Mommy said she was sick they all wanted to take care of me.

So out came the doctors kit and tea. I also was given a doll by my daughter..funny it is my Cabbage Patch Doll from my childhood...good choice. I held that doll while watching Survivor and trying to not let the nausea take over.

After many rounds of Advil and many trips to the bathroom I felt "good" enough to get everyone settled for bed. Of course fights were a guarantee because the baby, twins and I laid down around 4:30 for a quick nap and they were just not tired.

Owen got in the shower and when he came out he said his belly hurt. Want a tip?

ALWAYS BELIEVE YOUR CHILD THAT HIS BELLY HURTS!!!

I got him in his PJ's and he threw a fit that he come into my bed, so I let him. Within 30 seconds of sitting in my bed guess what happened? Oh yeah....good thing I put the throw up pail beside him before I walked away.

This went on for HOURS...I kid you not. I think it was 4 a.m. before Owen and myself got to sleep more than 20 minutes a shot. After searching I found some gravol and that seemed to do the trick. I feel so bad for him because I have NEVER seen so much come out of him before. He was slightly delirious as well and not making much sense when he talked.

I tired too and still not feeling up to par. My daughter woke at 5 and has not gone back to bed. I am sure whatever bug we have is working on her because she has complained of stomach pain (and let me tell you from experience it HURTS!). Sam and the baby are the only ones still looking and feeling fine.

To top it off I have run out of Children's tylenol and advil so now I need to figure out how to get some.

To be honest....I am not even cranky..yet. Of course everyone will be back to restored health by tomorrow because Daddy is home tonight and hey ....I'd have help right? I hope this day goes by fast, real fast.

I'm off to burn some oils and put on my ionizer. This bug is outta here.

My Sense of Humour

First off I totally spelled "humour" the Canadian way but I am Canadian so that is alright.

Secondly, if you want a taste of my sense of humour then play the commerical below. I laugh very hard every time it is played on the t.v.. Make sure you watch till the very end...the funniest comment is at the end.

By the way I post this in total conidence knowing my sister and husband will think it's funny!

Asking for Help Before I LOOSE my Mind

I have a daughter.

I love my daughter dearly.

But I cannot take this clothing issue were having any longer. Not only do I hate having her meltdown because it takes so long to calm her but I feel so horrible when I walk away BUT I cannot calm her down becasue I do not know what the real issue is. She wiggles and pulls at the clothes and refuses to even try anything on.

I am soooo impatient with her regarding this issue. Every morning I get ready for the battle. Everynight I get ready for another battle about the clothes that were such an issue earlier in the day and then we fight over pj's.

Please someone out ther must have had this same issue. What can I do?

I just read an article that says to find an outfit that they like and buy 4 or 5 of them but to me this is not "normal" and I want to help my daughter get over this for her not for my convience.

If anyone has suggestions please let me know.

Wordless Wednesday

She really wanted another person at her tea party....

She did not care he could not actually sit up and drink her tea.

For more WW particpants and to visit other Mom's Blogs go here.

Quotable Monday's

"It is only by going down into the abyss

that we recover the treasures of life.

Where you stumble, there lies your treasure.

The very cave you are afraid to enter

turns out to be the source

of what you were looking for."

-Joeseph Campbell

Battle of the Bulge #6 & #7

I know you are all just waiting to hear how my weight loss is going ;) so here is the update.

It's not "going"...the "Battle" has stopped since Gage was in the hospital. I do still try to eat properly but as for the exercise...not happening.

I really want to exercise. That is the crazy thing. Just because I have to figure out how to squeeze it in during the day I want to do it. Now if I had all the time in the world I probably would not want to exercise. Frustrating isn't it?

So tomorrow is the day I get back on the treadmill. I do have results for you because I finally found my tape measure.

Weight 191 lbs (yes I gained 2 lbs)
Waist WAS: 43" NOW: 42 3/4"
Hips WAS: 45" NOW: 441/2"
Bust WAS 451/4" NOW" 43 3/4"

So even though I gained a couple of pounds I am happy that my waist is shrinking. If there is anything on my body I dislike it's my waist. I want to wear jeans someday without having issues.

Anyone want to update?

Happy Valentines Day (a day late)

I am not one for being sucked in to the commercialism of society so whenever a holiday (like Valentines) arrives I have to admit I try to ignore it.

I do however want to celebrate those I love and had decided earlier in the week how I was going to accomplish that.

Since my husband is living "dorm" room style at the moment I thought he probably would enjoy a home cooked meal. You may think this would be a simple task considering I love to cook and enjoy being in my kitchen. But a home cooked meal can be a little stressful to finish when you have three children hyped up because their Dad is home for the weekend and they are all cranky due to lack of sleep. Let us not forget a baby who is on a growth spurt and a Mommy who tries to do everything at once.

I did however get the meal cooked...bbq rib steaks and potatoes and the wine got chilled enough for me to drink two large glasses.

I gave the kids wine glasses as well with Cranberry juice for them to drink. I turned the lights down low and lit some candles and you know what? It was probably one of my favorite Valentine's Meals I have ever had with my husband and the other people in my life that have my heart.

Of course I was exhausted by the end and it took forever for me to clean up my kitchen and finishing baking the heart cookies we had started the day before BUT I will remember this Valentine's forever.

Your Gonna Miss This Moment

Pam over at "Your Gonna Miss This", hosts a weekly carnival. The point of it is to write about something your going to miss as life moves on.

Like Pam, this week I had a hard time being a Mommy that was willing to do anything for her kids 24/7. Acutally this week I made some changes in my parenting to help me feel like I have some control over myself, but that is for another post.

So keep Pam (and me) in your prayers this week!

Since my brain is still recovering from a late night the pictures may tell the story more than I.

Our three year old son is like many other little boys. He can be very wild most of the time and prefers to wrestle with his older brother or scream while running around the house then sit and color or read a book. His twin sister on the other hand loves to color, do puzzles and also flash cards! She too can be a little crazy but nothing like her brother.

BUT they do have one thing in common.

This boy LOVES to dress in his sisters dress up clothes.

Can I just say that she does not in anyway make him do this. Since Halloween she has been on strike wearing any dresses but now wants to play Cinderella.

She gets to be Cinderella and Sam is the ugly Stepsister.........

That being said I do not worry about him dressing up. I know it's his age and the fact that he has a twin sister and they are ALWAYS together.

He does dress up in other things as well. Here he is a bunny.

And a cowboy with a very large machine gun....

But going back to how the twins are always together. THIS I will miss seeing.

I will miss my little boy just wanting a laugh out of us even though I don't think that will change as he grows....

The innocence of a child to really not care what other's think right now. The fact that he can dance without any music.......

Oh my little blue eyed boy. We are in for an adventure

How My Brain Works

Tonight when I arrived home at the end of the day and after I unloaded groceries (and children who were sleeping), I started supper. As I was cooking supper and getting splattered with grease I thought of something I had wanted for a VERY long time.

Since I happen to know my very close friend who knows how to sew and likes to give me my birthday presents 6 months after my actual birthday reads this blog..phew....may I also add to this ridiculously long sentence that I happen to know her mother sews very well also!

What I am trying to say is I thought I'd post this thing I wanted for a VERY long time on the blog and how I actually got to thinking about it and maybe just maybe my very close friend that knows how to sew that is off work right now just might make me one :)!

So here goes.....

As I was saying I started our supper

Mickey Mouse burgers

and steak fries.

(I can't believe I posted a picture of my dirty oven that has self clean!)

I also was going to throw a couple of veggies on the plates

but so did not get around to that!

Did I mention I had to hold Gage like this through all of the cooking, prepping and such

Because if I did not hold him then this is what he did!

So I had one child sleeping, and two watching Little Mermaid.

As I contemplated on how I was going to make

a bird feeder out of this....

I ignored the Basset Hound at the door who was barking

and shivering as if he was thrown into an Arctic blizzard.

After I finally got to take all my pictures for this post and supper

was done I realized I truly need one of these VERY VERY badly....

Or this one...love these colors.

But to be honest I always wanted one like this....

If I could I'd totally steal my Grandmother's Yellow checkered that one but she still uses it.

So there it is...what I went through to get this post up to give my friend a subtle hint of what I would LOVE for Christmas 2009.

By the way "R" you have exactly 314 days left till Christmas...LOL.

This Blog is Interrupted For Parenting

I want to blog.

I REALLY want to blog.

BUT I can't because I am being

a Mommy and a Mommy has a hard job.

So PLEASE bare with me

while I take a time out today (and yesterday)

to just BE with my kids.

Stay tuned because husband is home tonight

for the LONG weekend so I will have some posts up soon.

Wordless Wednesday

Are you watching Mom?

Remember feeling like you were the fastest person in the world?

For more WW particpants and some GREAT photos go check out some more Mom Blogs at

5 minutes for Mom.

An Education In Loss

I so should not be blogging. I have so much to get done today and a headache slowly but surely coming on. But what I heard this morning at my Mom’s Morning Out Group changed my perspective on a lot of things.

As I sat and listened to three brave wonderful women, I had no idea the impact their words would have on me. I somewhat knew all their stories and what they all had in common. Each of these ladies has lost a child. Their stories were heartbreaking to hear but at the same time helped so many people and I hope helped their healing process in some way.

The biggest impact for me was the feeling of how the reality that I am blessed and that I better shape up an start living everyday with this feeling. I think in their own way these ladies feel the same way but they have one thing that I do not…..clarity. Clarity of what love truly is and they know this because it was taken away from them. But instead of taking that awful pain of feeling like their heart was ripped out, they let the power of God’s love start to heal them, and I tell you it was amazing to hear.

I live everyday with meltdowns, some of them my own, and I have trouble getting through each one. I lose my patience a lot and it’s all because I am not taking the time to stop and process what is really going on with the two three year olds at my feet screaming at each other.

Why do I want to in any way harm these children of mine…MINE…that were a gift from God?

Why do I let the “little” things become so huge that it overpowers my thought process.

Why?

Because I am human.

My heart ached with these ladies today. Hearing their stories and their pain. I will forever hold this day in my heart. I learned so much about pain, sympathy, grieving, but also about love, and healing. I learned that no one you love should ever be taken forgranted and not only did I really learn that today, I want to start living that way.
I hope I practice what I have just preached. I hope that today was a stepping stone for myself and others regarding love, healing and how God can work in situations that may just not be the “pretty perfect planned” life you had thought it was going to be.

The Post About An Issue I Have #698 (lol)

I have an issue. Actually I have many and know that I have started a few blog posts with this exact same sentence.

The issue is my mind.

It tends to wander and fall apart lately. I have redeveloped my eye tick from a couple years ago (when the twins were babies) and I sometimes cannot totally express what I mean because I think my brain seriously shuts down when the overload of chaos and stress happen.

So my mind is making me worry about something that is just not something I should worry about. My mind is trying to be logical but my heart is telling me something else. These two organs in my world do not work together.

So who should I listen to?

Should I "trust with my heart" (as they say) or "go with my gut?". I know the issue I have can be very damaging in one particular relationship and at the moment I am battling in my mind to not let the "evil" take over. My heart hurts but also is telling me it's okay and that the issue is nothing.

I am really not sure where this will go. I think I need to keep "battling" with my mind and "trusting my heart".

I just hope my heart wins on this one.

Quotable Monday's

If you cannot be
a poet,
Be the poem
-David Carradine

How Do You Value Yourself?

On Tuesday's we attend our Mom's Morning Out Group at the Alliance Church. At the end of every "meeting" we have a Thought For The Day. We ask different Mom's to participate because we all have something different to offer and this week Melissa got my mind rolling.

She asked us "How do you value yourself?" To tell you the truth I have NO idea...is that bad? I thought my "value" was similar to Melissa's after hearing her talk but now I am not so sure.

To be honest, I am a little scared to figure it out. How do I value my worth? That is huge statement to put out there. I usually don't really live my life by what other people think of me (unless they intimidate me :0), but I still think that I have to be careful for my own mentality to how I want to label this one.

So whenever this question comes up in my head I start this mental Pros and Cons list.

Pro....I genuinely care about others, Con...I find it hard to forgive....and so on.

But How do I value myself?

I still really do not have an answer for this but it will be a question on my mind. Maybe it's something that was supposed to come to me because I have been a little busy lately giving to my family and not taking much time for me. Or maybe it's something that I should be facing in my life, which may I say would not be a good time right now because it takes all I have everyday not to lose my mind.

Anyone want to help out here?

I'd love to hear what you have to say about how you value yourself? Post a comment or leave a link to your blog.

It's bugging me I can't put a word to this for myself.

My Thoughts Are Scrambled On This One

I so have a great post to put up but have yet to found time to work on it. We actually slept in this morning and it's 8 am here...I have ususally been up for 2-3 hours but it feels good to have had that rest.

So stay tuned and I'll try to get it done today becasue we are off for the weekend to visit my husband and splash in a hotel pool.

Wordless Wednesday

I am so blessed to have this girl in the midst of all the boys!

Go check out some more great photos & blogs at 5 minutes for Mom.

Quotable Monday's

"Love isn't about

finding someone perfect.

It's about learning to love

an imperfect person perfectly. "

Battle of the Bulge #5

I have completely fallen off the wagon.

My last workout was Wednesday.

I can't remember the last "proper" meal I ate.

I am exhausted from not sleeping....and it has nothing to do with the kids.

I am however 189lbs...under the 190 mark. But I still cannot find my measuring tape (darn kids) to see where I am at in that department.

Wish me luck for a much better week ahead...a week full of sweaty workouts and some serious dieting.