Faking It Was Never One Of My Strong Points

Today at our Mom's group we had a wonderful and wise woman speak. We often have these "Marriage Talks" and they are always interesting and sometimes you learn something about yourself in another Mother's talk of her own life.

I truly enjoyed the talk today but couldn't help but leave there feeling more guilty about my Mothering than anything.

The speech was NOT at all meant to make you leave feeling this way...it's me...all me.

I always know and think I can do better.

I try not to raise my voice but it happens more than I want.

Today was a rough day emotionally. I finally broke down completely to a friend on the phone and then while rocking baby to sleep. I had a good cry, felt sorry for myself yet do not feel any better...geez wonder why?

Did I mention I have been a single parent and feeling quite lonely for the past 15 weeks?

But these feelings were there before my husband left for college...it is something I need to conquer...work on...and hopefully move on without hurting too many people in the process.

I wish I had something cheerier (is this even a word?) to post about but I am an open book and wear my emotions on my sleeve. So if you run into me somewhere just don't take it personally if I am not as chatty as I usually am, or if I break down and cry and fall into your arms...just kidding I would never do that.

I hope someday I can look back and find something I am proud of that I did for my kids...not just the stuff I want to forget and want them to forget.