Another week to post those moments that you know your just gonna miss someday. Go on over to Pam's" Blog and join in.
This week I had trouble finding something I was going to miss. It's been a long week without Daddy here. I ended up with the flu on Thursday and let me tell you it was not mnch fun to have the flu and four healthy kids. But I survived that day and that night when my 6 year old was very very ill for HOURS. Might I add that adrenaline is a wonderful thing God created! I think Friday was a blur too but honestly it went by fairly well and Daddy arrived home around 9:30 pm and Mommy was sleeping by 9:32.
Even though it's been a tough week I still think I may miss parts of this. I do not mean I'll miss being on call to my kids 24/7 and never getting a breath, what I mean is I'll miss what I am learning about myself and my marriage during this single parent stint.
As I was driving today I thought to myself "Wow, I have done this for 7 weeks and I am not even completely exhausted yet." I know there was a time when I never thought I could parent more than one child, then two more came at the same time and you know what.... I did it. Then one more child arrived. I can't say I am proud of every moment I have had as a Mother or Wife but I am still here and I think I have done a pretty good job.
Someone reading this may say "What's the big deal of parenting four kids by yourself?" I don't know...maybe it's not. But I don't have a Mom who I can call for help. I have my sister and my Dad that help me out an hour here and there. I have my Mother In Law that was a complete angel when Gage was in the hospital but I don't have my Mom. My Mom would have been at my side as much as I needed her to be during this tough time without my husband. But she isn't here physically but I get strength from her spiritually. I can hear her whispering easier ways to do things, I can see her whispering in Sammy's here to behave, I know she is here with me and that gives me strength because she took care of four of us often without any help as well.
Yes, I will miss what I am learning about my strength in all of this. It does take strength to will yourself out of bed after no sleep because your three year old hates how his pillow is at 3 a.m. It takes strength to listen to the same fight over and over again that your two three year olds are having on a daily basis. It takes strength to be a parent in any way shape or form.
I am also learning how much I appreciate my spouse. We have hit the 11 year mark in our marriage and let's just say after the 10 year mark you need to declutter your relationship sometimes. It is very hard for us to find anytime together the 48 hours he is home but the last couple weeks we have worked together to find that time. Like at the moment I am drinking coffee at 8:00 p.m. because I want to stay awake long enough to have a conversation with my husband. A conversation that will not include hushing a little person every 30 seconds.
I am learning alot about myself during this process. We all know the most growth within us comes in tough times and even though this training my husband is in is going to be for the better in the end, right now it's tough. It's not easy for me, our kids, or my husband but in the end we know it will be a blessing to have security, a schedule and time with the kids that you just won't get back. I am so blessed that my husband realizes that time with the kids and I is so important and not to be taken for granted. I will forever be thankful he made the decision he did to end his career as a business owner and move on to something that was in his heart.
We have 10 or so weeks left of his weekly absence in our lives. The first couple months have flown by and I hope the last couple will too. I can't wait to have Daddy home again and get into a routine with his new job. I have no idea what I will do with the "free" time that will appear but I plan on using the first few days to sleep and take a trip with my good friend to a spa. After that...it's time for life to get going once again and find our groove with Daddy as a shift worker.
I will miss this learning but hope it's a course I don't have to repeat any time soon.
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