An Education In Loss

I so should not be blogging. I have so much to get done today and a headache slowly but surely coming on. But what I heard this morning at my Mom’s Morning Out Group changed my perspective on a lot of things.

As I sat and listened to three brave wonderful women, I had no idea the impact their words would have on me. I somewhat knew all their stories and what they all had in common. Each of these ladies has lost a child. Their stories were heartbreaking to hear but at the same time helped so many people and I hope helped their healing process in some way.

The biggest impact for me was the feeling of how the reality that I am blessed and that I better shape up an start living everyday with this feeling. I think in their own way these ladies feel the same way but they have one thing that I do not…..clarity. Clarity of what love truly is and they know this because it was taken away from them. But instead of taking that awful pain of feeling like their heart was ripped out, they let the power of God’s love start to heal them, and I tell you it was amazing to hear.

I live everyday with meltdowns, some of them my own, and I have trouble getting through each one. I lose my patience a lot and it’s all because I am not taking the time to stop and process what is really going on with the two three year olds at my feet screaming at each other.

Why do I want to in any way harm these children of mine…MINE…that were a gift from God?

Why do I let the “little” things become so huge that it overpowers my thought process.

Why?

Because I am human.

My heart ached with these ladies today. Hearing their stories and their pain. I will forever hold this day in my heart. I learned so much about pain, sympathy, grieving, but also about love, and healing. I learned that no one you love should ever be taken forgranted and not only did I really learn that today, I want to start living that way.
I hope I practice what I have just preached. I hope that today was a stepping stone for myself and others regarding love, healing and how God can work in situations that may just not be the “pretty perfect planned” life you had thought it was going to be.